Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


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dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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(July 2000 and earlier)


Saturday, February 20, 2010

He's back (NSFW)

"...cult members always attribute all of their problems to one simple explanation. Now here's an amazing statistic. In a recent poll almost ninety percent of Tea Baggers said that they thought taxes had either gone up or stayed the same under Obama. Only two percent thought they went down. But the reality is taxes have gone down-- for ninety five percent of working families, taxes went down.

"Think about that. Only two percent of the people in a "movement" about taxes named after a tax revolt, have the slightest idea what's going on... with taxes.

"So, it would be easy to just mock, except that those who fall under the control of cults aren't necessarily weirdoes, they're victims. And we shouldn't forget that these people are our relatives, our neighbors and the folks at the next table in the restaurant. Especially if that restaurant is Hooters and it's Dollar Wing Wednesday."

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Friday, February 19, 2010

Right next to the worthless 401K statements...

"Some paintings of former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan by artist Erin Crowe, which once fetched as much as $5,000 to $10,000 apiece, are now stashed by their owners in closets and under beds."
-Wall Street Journal

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Thursday, February 18, 2010

I miss these guys

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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

News story of the day

Police say woman hit adult son with baseball bat
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
The Associated Press

A Charleroi woman has been charged with hitting her adult son with a Louisville Slugger after she allegedly came home drunk.

Forty-nine-year-old Linda Newstrom faces a preliminary hearing Feb. 25 on simple assault and other crimes in the Valentine's Day incident.

Charleroi police say Ms. Newstrom kicked her 21-year-old son Jeffrey out of the house then swung the bat at him as he gathered his belongings -- missing on the first two swings but connecting on a third.

Police say Ms. Newstrom claimed her son hit her but also acknowledged hitting him with the bat, saying, "I brought him into this world and I'll take him out of this world."

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Variations on a theme (more snow).

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Monday, February 15, 2010

Stop complaining...

It could be worse.

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Sunday, February 14, 2010

Things you don't want to hear during surgery

I think I lost a contact.

That's as good as it's gonna get.

I said "retract," not "remove," you idiot.

You know, there's big money in kidneys, and this guy has two of 'em.

And what did you do before, Mrs. Bobbitt?

Is it supposed to do that?

Better not throw it out. They may need it at the inquest.

I wish I had a nice Chianti and some fava beans.

The pumpy thingie is making that noise again.

Get Sanji out of the crapper. This guy's waking up.

He already has a couple kids, right?

Is it supposed to be that color?

Neat. How long will it do that before it falls off?

Check his wallet. See if he's an organ donor.

"Accept this humble sacrifice, Oh Lord of Darkness."

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All you need to know about Republicans and health care

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Apparent Trap
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

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Copyright © 1987-2018 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

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Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


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