Ronald Dee "Ron" White (born December 18, 1956) is an American stand up comedian and actor, best known as a charter member of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Nicknamed "Tater Salad," he is the author of the book I Had the Right to Remain Silent But I Didn't Have the Ability, which appeared on the New York Times best seller list. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)
I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.
I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.
I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.
The next time you have a thought... let it go.
We take the money we make from selling the rest of Florida to Israel, we buy Mexico, fix it up and flip it!
When you've seen one woman naked... you want to see the rest of them.
You can only do two things with your life: give it away or throw it away.
You can't fix stupid.
(December 18 is also the birthday of H.H. Munro (Saki).)