John Joseph "Jack" Nicholson (b. April 22, 1937) is an American actor, film director, producer, and writer. Nicholson's 12 Oscar nominations make him the most nominated male actor in the history of the Academy Awards. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)
A girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.
A lot of people can't remember things because they weren't actually there to begin with- they don't take it all in.
A lot of times, you gotta be there even if you don't wanna be.
A man needs a private life. With no ability to have a private life, one thing leads to another, and before you know it we have Bill and Monica. We need to get real about things. Humans are humans. Why should we expect more?
All these millions of simple household behaviors make for a better life. We can't live in constant rebellion against our parents- it's just silly.
Almost everybody's happy to be a fool for love.
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.
Children give your life a resonance that it can't have without them.
Do unto others: How much deeper into religion do we really need to go?
I always tell young men there are three rules (re:women): They hate us, we hate them; they're stronger, they're smarter; and most important: they don't play fair.
I am a person who is trained to look other people in the eye. But I can't look into the eyes of everyone who wants to look into mine; I can't emotionally cope with that kind of volume. Sunglasses are part of my armor.
I don't know if this is a true statistic, but I heard somewhere that there are three times as many single women over forty as single men. That's what we got from the women's movement. The chickens have come home to roost.
I hate advice unless I'm giving it. I hate giving advice, because people won't take it.
I just want to do something good before I die.
I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself.
I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.
I resist all established beliefs. My religion basically is to be immediate, to live in the now. It's an old cliché, I know, but it's mine.
I think the Greeks invented sports as an antidote to philosophy. In sports there are absolute rules. It's not, What about this? What about that? Either you're safe or you're out. It's ten yards or it's not. It's in the hoop or out of the hoop. It's certain
I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away.
I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.
If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women.
If you think you're attractive, you're always attractive.
In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.
It's very easy to go down, so always live up. Incline yourself upward.
Liberalism is the right to question without being called a heretic. That's what America did for the world.
Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.
Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you develop.
Our generation are the new old. I remember what someone of 60 looked like when I was a kid. They didn't look like me.
People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.
The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.
There's a tacit agreement in the nation today that the white male is the only legitimate target for any and all satire, criticism, and so forth. And we pretty much just accept it.
There's so much darn porn out there, I never got out of the house. (re: why he avoids the Internet)
We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money.
When I turned 70 it was the first time I felt young for my age. Fifty dropped on me like a ton of bricks- there is something about that number- but when 70 came along I felt good about it.
When it's over for a woman, it's over. You're not getting an appeal.
Why can't somebody use modern intelligence and relate it to traffic?
With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and old.
You only lie to two people in your life: your girlfriend and the police. Everybody else you tell the truth to.