A lapsed Catholic is someone who no longer believes in Hell but knows
he's still going there.
A man, well, he'll walk right into Hell with both eyes open- but even
the Devil can't fool a dog.
-Earl Hammer, Jr.
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
-George Bernard Shaw
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a
child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.
Better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven.
By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make
people believe that heaven is hell- and hell heaven. The greater the
lie, the more readily it will be believed.
Capitalism without bankruptcy is like Christianity without hell.
Communists worship the Devil himself. Socialists believe damnation is a
good system run by bad people. And liberals want to send everyone to
hell because it's warm there in the winter.
Don't tell a man to go to Hell unless you can send him there.
-Lyndon B. Johnson
Easy is the slope to hell.
Either heaven or hell will have continuous background music. Which one
you think it will be tells a lot about you.
Everybody's Hell is different; its not all fire and pain. The real Hell
is your life gone wrong.
For each time you say the phrases 'touch base,' 'networking,' or 'bottom
line,' you will spend one month in hell.
He who has money can eat sherbet in hell.
Heaven and hell suppose two distinct species of men, the good and the
bad. But the greatest part of mankind float betwixt vice and virtue.
Heaven for climate, hell for society.
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a
Hell has no terrors for pagans.
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
Hell hath no fury like a hustler with a literary agent.
Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.
Hell hath no fury like a woman. Why add extraneous details?
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)
Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.
Hell is a half-filled auditorium.
Hell is full of good meanings and wishings.
Hell is in Heaven and Heaven is in Hell. But angels see only the light,
and devils only the darkness.
Hell is other people.
Hell is other people. And those people are French.
How could I have died and gone to hell without noticing the transition?
-Lois McMaster Bujold
I am an Agnostic because I am not afraid to think. I am not afraid of
any god in the universe who would send me or any other man or woman to
hell. If there were such a being, he would not be a god; he would be a
I desire to go to Hell, not to Heaven. In Hell I shall enjoy the company
of popes, kings and princes, but in Heaven are only beggars, monks,
hermits and apostles.
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell- you see, I have
friends in both places.
I feel that if there were an afterlife, punishment for evil would be
reasonable and of a fixed term. And I feel that the longest and worst
punishment should be reserved for those who slandered God by inventing
I have faith in the universe, for it is rational. Law underlies each
happening. And I have faith in my purpose here on earth. I have faith in
my intuition, the language of my conscience, but I have no faith in
speculation about Heaven and Hell. I'm concerned with this time- here
I hold it to be the inalienable right of anybody to go to hell in his
If I owned Hell and Texas, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.
-Phillip Henry Sheridan
If there is a hell, it is modeled after junior high.
If there is no hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under
If you want to study the social and political history of modern nations,
If you're going through hell, keep going.
In southern Nevada, there's only a screen door between you and hell.
Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of
Maybe there is no actual place called Hell. Maybe Hell is just having to
listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
My principal objections to orthodox religion are two- slavery here and
-Robert G. Ingersoll
New York has always been going to hell but somehow it never gets there.
Religion is for those who believe in Hell. Spirituality is for those who
have been there.
Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing that they themselves
were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.
The idea of hell was born of ignorance, brutality, fear, cowardice, and
-Robert G. Ingersoll
The mind is its own place, and in itself Can make a heaven of Hell, a
hell of Heaven.
The pride of dying rich raises the loudest laugh in hell.
The way to Hell is paved with good intentions.
There's a truism that the road to Hell is often paved with good
intentions. The corollary is that evil is best known not by its motives
but by its methods.
-Eric S. Raymond
The road to Hell is paved with good Samaritans.
The road to Hell is paved with works in progress.
The safest road to Hell is the gradual one- the gentle slope, soft
underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without
There are depths in man that go to the lowest hell, and heights that
reach the highest heaven, for are not both heaven and hell made out of
him, everlasting miracle and mystery that he is.
There is no hell. There is only France.
To consider persons and events and situations only in the light of their
effect upon myself is to live on the doorstep of hell.
To different minds, the same world is a hell, and a heaven.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
To scale great heights, we must come out of the lowest depths. The way
to heaven is through hell.
Twenty times in the course of my late reading have I been upon the point
of breaking out, 'This would be the best of all possible worlds, if
there were no religion in it!' But in this exclamation I would have been
as fanatical as Bryant or Cleverly. Without religion this world would be
something not fit to be mentioned in polite company, I mean Hell.
We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.
What fresh hell can this be?
What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!
What was God doing before the divine creation? Was he preparing hell for
people who asked such questions?
When we preach on hell, we might at least do it with tears in our eyes.
-Dwight L. Moody
Whoever is in control of the hell in your life, is your devil.
-John Henrik Clarke
You won't burn in hell. But be nice anyway.