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Everything we do these days is ideological, and it's killing us.
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Published Wednesday, October 26, 2011 @ 9:51 AM
Oct 26 2011

(Daily Show video: Back in Black-Indoctrinating America's Children)

I'll have to remember to set my DVR... to explode!-Lewis Black

Categories: 9/11, al-Qaeda, Children, Conservatives, Daily Show, Glenn Beck, Hippies, Hunger, Ideologies, Indoctrination, Lewis Black, Mike Huckabee, Occupy Wall Streeet, Poverty, Sesame Street, TV, Video

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Remembering 9/13
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Published Tuesday, September 13, 2011 @ 8:23 AM
Sep 13 2011

The Daily Show remembers 9/13... the day we started forgetting...

Categories: 9/11, ACLU, Al Madrigal, al-Qaeda, Americans, Anderson Cooper, Ann Coulter, Atheism, Brit Hume, Campaign Funding, Christians/Christianity, Church and State, CNN, Conservatives, Daily Show, Democrats, Faith, First Amendment, Fox News, Freedom, Glenn Beck, God, Government, Ground Zero, Homeland Security, Hypocrisy, Islam, Jason Jones, Jerry Falwell, Jon Stewart, Katie Couric, Lies, Media and Advertising, Middle East, Moral Majority, MSNBC, Neal Asbury, News Corporation, New York, Olivia Munn, Painful, Pat Robertson, Politics, Pundits, Radical Islam, Religion, Roger Ailes, Rudy Giuliani, Rupert Murdoch, Samantha Bee, Stupidity, Terrorists, U.S. Constitution, Video, Wahhabists, WTF?, Wyatt Cenac

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"And by Twitiverse I don't mean Twitter, I mean twits."
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Published Thursday, May 12, 2011 @ 6:54 AM
May 12 2011

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart yet again reveals Fox News' faux outrage as the naked hypocrisy it is.

"Oh, if we only had the tape..."

Categories: Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Common, Daily Show, Fox and Friends, Fox News, George W. Bush, Glenn Beck, Grammy Awards, Greta Van Susteren, Gretchen Carlson, Hillary Clinton, Hypocrisy, Ice-T, Johnny Cash, Jon Stewart, Karl Rove, Megyn Kelly, Music, Osama bin Laden, Race, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, Ted Nugent, TV, Video

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Political jokes of the week
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Published Friday, April 08, 2011 @ 8:42 AM
Apr 08 2011

Recent late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.

We're heading for a government shutdown. This is serious. Without the government who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our borders? Who will put us 14 trillion dollars in debt?
-Jay Leno

The White House may have to lay off all nonessential workers if the government shuts down. You know: interns, pages, Biden...
-Jimmy Fallon

We are just four days away from the government shutdown, which will cripple the VA, Social Security and Medicare. So I get to snuff out one more candle on my Government Shutdown Menorah. Shutdownica celebrates the miracle of telling veterans and the elderly that they can suck it.
-Stephen Colbert

Fox News announced today that Glenn Beck will leave his show later this year. It's nothing personal. He just wants to spend more time with the voices in his head.
-Jimmy Fallon

The White House said that President Obama will not focus on full-time campaigning for a long time. Yeah, he wants to wait a year or two before he gets serious about it- just like he did with being president.
-Jimmy Fallon

President Obama is going to seek reelection. His slogan this time? 'Change you can believe in. This time I promise. Really.'
-Jay Leno

President Obama will run for reelection in 2012. He's not breaking up with us! He wants to work things out! He's forgiving our poor record on post-recession job creation, our incessant demands to be talked to, every time we go to war.
-Jon Stewart

President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though it's not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate.
-Craig Ferguson

So far the Republican field looks like a bunch of guys responding to a Craigslist ad for a free couch.
-Stephen Colbert

Officials at BP have filed for permits to drill for oil again in the Gulf of Mexico. They say the oil is easier to find than ever because it's mostly on top of the water.
-Conan O'Brien

There's a $376 million semi-secret construction project happening at the White House, and it's rumored that a tunnel is being built underneath. That's a lot of work for President Obama to get away from his mother-in-law. Let the man have a cigarette.
-Jimmy Kimmel

I think Obama is building an underground Kenya. A new subterranean land so he can Africanize us from below. I heard that on Fox News.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Bravo is canceling 'The Real Housewives of D.C.' after just one season. That's when unemployment is bad, when people who don't even have jobs are losing their jobs.
-Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump said he can't make a final decision about whether he will run for president or not until this season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is over. Which is maybe the best excuse from a guy who might run for the presidency ever— I am unable to decide on whether or not I will run for President until I decide whether Latoya Jackson or Jose Canseco will be my new Apprentice.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Due to the budget impasse, the federal government may shut down next week. There will be another season of 'Jersey Shore,' but the U.S. government is still up in the air.
-Conan O'Brien

If Congress can't agree on a budget by midnight Friday, the government will shut down. Democrats are demanding to tax all of the people's money and use it to fund abortions, while the Republicans want to sell the country to Exxon Mobil and relocate gays to Puerto Rico.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Members of Congress will still get paid if there's a shutdown. So it will be just like it is now. We'll be paying them to do nothing.
-Jay Leno

A lot of public beaches may also be shut down, which could severely whiten John Boehner.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Fox News announced that they're dropping Glenn Beck's show. Beck was crying his eyes out, and then he found out about the show being canceled.
-Craig Ferguson

It's being reported that Katie Couric will be leaving CBS before the presidential campaigns. Who will be brave enough to ask Sarah Palin questions that should be incredibly easy to answer now?
-Jimmy Kimmel

While covering the war in Libya Geraldo Rivera was shot at by Gaddafi's forces. See, you never hear about the good things Gaddafi does.
-Jay Leno

Categories: Barack Obama, BP, Bravo, Conan O'Brien, Congress, Craig Ferguson, Craigslist, Democrats, Donald Trump, Elections, Fox News, Geraldo Rivera, Glenn Beck, Government Shutdown, Jay Leno, Jersey Shore, Jimmy Fallon, Joe Biden, John Boehner, Jon Stewart, Katie Couric, Late Night TV, Moammar Gadhafi, Political Jokes of the Week, Politics, Reality Shows, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Stephen Colbert, TV

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Tough, honest questions
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Published Thursday, April 07, 2011 @ 6:49 AM
Apr 07 2011

Again, one must ask- why are the clearest, most direct interviews performed by a comedian on a fake news show?

Stewart probes Huckabee's support of radical evangelical minister and discredited historian David Barton, who claims- despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary- that the Founders intended the United States to be a Christian theocracy. Stewart also questions why Huckabee- who is always reasonable and self-effacing during his Daily Show interviews- promotes Barton's extreme ideas when addressing his conservative base.

This is part three of three of the interview; consider watching them all. It's one of Stewart's- and Huckabee's- best efforts.

It also features two Stewart observations that made it to my quote database:

"As someone who is not Christian, it is hard for me to believe Christians are a persecuted people in America... maybe, God willing, one of you will rise up and get to be President of this country; or maybe 44 in a row."

"We need religion to give grace and comfort to a world torn apart by religion."

Categories: Barack Obama, Bible, Christians/Christianity, Christmas, Church and State, Conservatives, Daily Show, David Barton, Education, Faith, First Amendment, Founding Fathers, Fox News, Freedom, Glenn Beck, Government, History, Indecision 2012, Interviews, In the news, Jon Stewart, Late Night TV, Patriotism, Politics, Race, Religion, Republicans, Sharia Law, Tea Party, Texas, TV, U.S. Constitution, Video

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O'Really, O'Reilly?
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Published Friday, January 28, 2011 @ 5:21 AM
Jan 28 2011

Noted condescending conservative pinhead Bill O'Reilly criticized Jon Stewart of The Daily Show for claiming Fox News calls people Nazis.

Stewart again nails the faux news channel to the wall.

Don't those Fox News people realize The Daily Show has researchers who actually hold on to the tapes?

Categories: Bill O'Reilly, Conservatives, Daily Show, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Goebbels, Hitler, Huffington Post, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Megyn Kelly, Nazis, Richard Socarides, Roger Ailes, Steve Cohen, Video, WTF?

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Fox's Nazipalooza!
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Published Tuesday, January 25, 2011 @ 6:43 AM
Jan 25 2011

Jon Stewart's crack Daily Show research staff again exposes the fetid swamp of steaming hypocrisy that is Fox News.

"That's like Charlie Sheen showing up at your intervention to tell you to take it down a notch."

Categories: Bernie Goldberg, Bill O'Reilly, Charlie Sheen, Conservatives, Daily Show, Fox and Friends, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Goebbels, Greta Van Susteren, Gretchen Carlson, Gunther, The News Pigeon, Healthcare, Hitler, Holocaust, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Juan Williams, Karl Rove, Keith Olbermann, Mary Katharine Ham, Megyn Kelly, moveon.org, MSNBC, Nazis, NPR, Progressives, Richard Socarides, Roger Ailes, Sean Hannity, Steve Cohen, Steve Doocy, Tammy Bruce, townhall.com, Video, WTF?

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Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Angriness
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Published Sunday, January 16, 2011 @ 2:12 PM
Jan 16 2011

Sarah Palin knows now is not the time to determine ground elevation. (Might Lead To High Road)

Categories: Arizona, Barack Obama, Colbert Report, First Amendment, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Gun Control, Hitler, Neal Boortz, Rebecca Mansour, Religion, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Second Amendment, Stephen Colbert, Stuart Varney, Teabaggers, Tea Party, Video

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New Rules
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Published Sunday, November 07, 2010 @ 7:33 AM
Nov 07 2010

"One reports fact, the other one is very close to playing with his poop."

Categories: Bill Maher, Conservatives, Democrats, Glenn Beck, Jon Stewart, Keith Olbermann, Politics, Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear, Republicans, Stephen Colbert

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Best Late-Night Jokes of 2010 (So Far)
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Published Saturday, October 23, 2010 @ 5:31 AM
Oct 23 2010

Daniel Kurtzman does a superb job running About.com's political humor category, and he's put together a page of Best Late-Night Jokes of 2010 (So Far), a representative sample of which follows:

Sarah Palin and President Bush have new books coming out this fall. You know what that means? This could plunge America into a huge crayon shortage.
-Jay Leno

Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.
-Jay Leno

How to describe Rand Paul? I mean, he's a doctor. It's as if Sarah Palin somehow made it through medical school.
-Bill Maher, on Kentucky Senate candidate and Tea Party hero Rand Paul

While criticizing President Obama during an interview on Good Morning America this week, Rudy Giuliani said, "We had no domestic attacks under Bush." You know, I knew one day we would reach a point where people would forget about 9/11, but I never thought you would be the first.
-Seth Meyers

The Supreme Court ruled that the government cannot stop corporations from spending money on political candidates. Which explains why Sarah Palin has accepted $1 million to change her name to Pizza Hut.
-Jimmy Fallon

What a week in Washington. They passed health care, they're talking about immigration reform, it looks like they've ended "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," and they're legalizing marijuana. Let me tell you something, if you're a gay drug dealer from Mexico who snuck across the border for free health care so you could join the Navy, this is the greatest year of your life.
-Jay Leno

Of course, a lot of right wingers are very upset about this because they believe this health care bill will cost a lot of money. You know what I think? Just pretend it's another unnecessary war. You'll feel better about it already.
-Jay Leno

Sarah Palin's also getting criticized because last week she demanded that Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, step down because he used the word retarded. But then, Rush Limbaugh did the same thing on his radio show, and that, she said, was O.K. Unfortunately, she's been unable to respond to the criticism because she's wearing mittens.
-Jimmy Kimmel

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.
-David Letterman

I find it strange that Sarah Palin would be shopping a reality show considering the fact that she hasn't shown much interest in reality.
-Jimmy Kimmel

During his acceptance speech, newly elected Senator Scott Brown told the crowd that his two daughters are both available. Man, so many great American speeches, right? "Four score and seven years ago," "Ask not what your country can do for you," "I have a dream," and now, "My daughters are both available."
Jimmy Fallon

One of John McCain's former top campaign aides says that when he talked to Sarah Palin after McCain picked her to be his running mate, she said it was "God's plan." So, apparently, God wanted Obama to win.
-Jay Leno

Some critics are saying that Palin won't last on Fox because she's an over-emotional woman who gets the facts wrong. But I disagree. It's working great for Glenn Beck, so she'll be fine.
-Craig Ferguson

Well, folks, Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking, and she's hoping that the effects will eventually wear off.
-Jay Leno

Meg Whitman said she's willing to take a lie detector test to prove that she didn't know that she had an illegal alien cleaning her house. You know what, if we wanted a governor who swears they have no idea what's happening in their house, we'd move to Alaska.
-Bill Maher

Being politicians, they all got to sharing their personal stories. Obama talked about his mother's battle with cancer. Harry Reid talked about a kid with a cleft palate. And John McCain told how he once carried a brain dead woman through an entire campaign.
-Bill Maher, on Obama's health care summit

Categories: 9/11, About.com, Barack Obama, Bill Maher, Congress, Conservatives, Craig Ferguson, Daniel Kurtzman, David Letterman, Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Drugs, Fox News, George W. Bush, Glenn Beck, God, Harry Reid, Healthcare, Immigration, Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, John McCain, Late Night TV, Levi Johnston, Meg Whitman, Military, Politics, Quotes of the day, Rand Paul, Republicans, Rudy Giuliani, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Scott Brown, Seth Meyers, Supreme Court, Teabaggers, Tea Party

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Quote of the day
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Published Saturday, September 04, 2010 @ 10:35 AM
Sep 04 2010

Michele Bachmann claims 1.6 million at Beck rally. That’s about right if you count the voices in her head.
-lizzwinstead, via Twitter

Categories: Glenn Beck, Lizz Winstead, Michele Bachmann, Quotes of the day, Tea Party, Twitter

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Let Freedom Ring
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Published Saturday, August 28, 2010 @ 9:48 AM
Aug 28 2010

August 28, 1963

"I am happy to join with you today, in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

"Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.

"But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition.

"In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

"It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

"It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

"But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

"We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

"And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

"I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

"Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.

"I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

"I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

"I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

"I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

"I have a dream today.

"I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

"I have a dream today.

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

"This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

"This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

"And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

"Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

"Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

"But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

"Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

"Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

"When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Categories: Civil Rights, Classic, Daily Show, Freedom, Glenn Beck, History, Hypocrisy, I have a dream..., Jon Stewart, Martin Luther King, Jr., Video, WTF?

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Follow the money, indeed
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Published Thursday, August 19, 2010 @ 7:40 AM
Aug 19 2010

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
News Corp. Gives Money to Republicans
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party

Categories: Bill O'Reilly, Campaign Funding, Conservatives, Daily Show, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Hypocrisy, In the news, Politics, Republicans, TV, Video

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The Glenn Beck Conspiracy Theory Generator
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Published Friday, June 18, 2010 @ 8:33 AM
Jun 18 2010

Click here for another conspiracy.

Categories: Glenn Beck

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Quote of the day
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Published Monday, June 14, 2010 @ 7:47 AM
Jun 14 2010

Finally, a guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.
~Jon Stewart, 'The Daily Show' (speaking of Glenn Beck)

Categories: Daily Show, Glenn Beck, Jon Stewart

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Kneel before Glod!
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Published Monday, May 17, 2010 @ 10:17 AM
May 17 2010

Categories: Colbert Report, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Hypocrisy, Politics, TV, Video

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"It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon,' except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler."
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Published Thursday, May 13, 2010 @ 9:12 AM
May 13 2010

Categories: Barack Obama, Daily Show, Fox News, Glenn Beck, Hitler, Hypocrisy, Lewis Black, TV, Video

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Quote of the day
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Published Sunday, May 09, 2010 @ 11:54 AM
May 09 2010

When you argue stupid, you campaign stupid. When you campaign stupid, you win stupid. And when you win stupid, you govern stupid.
-David Frum

(from "The Tea Pary Jacobins" by Mark Lilla)

Categories: Barack Obama, Democrats, Fox News, Freedom, Glenn Beck, Government, History, Hypocrisy, Libertarians, New York Review of Books, Politics, Quotes of the day, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Tea Party

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He got me...
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Published Thursday, March 11, 2010 @ 10:27 AM
Mar 11 2010

Categories: ACLU, Barack Obama, Democrats, Fox News, Freedom, Glenn Beck, Politics, Religion, Republicans, Satire, Teabaggers, Video

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