A good conscience is a continual Christmas.
A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a
thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
America is a place where Jewish merchants sell Zen love beads to
agnostics for Christmas.
-John Burton Brimer
Anybody who talks about California hedonism has never spent a Christmas
As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas
Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year
to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.
Christmas is a strange season. We sing songs in front of dead trees and
eat candy out of our socks.
-John Wagner (From the comic strip Maxine)
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay
for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and
their kids pay for it.
Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you're home.
Christmas is not a date. It is a state of mind.
-Mary Ellen Chase
Christmas is over and Business is Business.
-Franklin P. Adams
Christmas isn't a season. It's a feeling.
Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel
hopefully is better than to arrive.
Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal
holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone
else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation
of church and state.
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be
necessary to invent it.
I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary
did- Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted,
with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
I was a Christmas present that was delivered unwrapped.
I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles
these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas
In my experience, clever food is not appreciated at Christmas. It makes
the little ones cry and the old ones nervous.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
Merry Christmas! the man threatened.
Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!
Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of
children, they are all 30 feet tall.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any
quicker than the Christmas spirit.
-Frank McKinney (Kin) Hubbard
Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when
they ran out of money.
One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the
living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas
caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go sometime in
Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
Something in me resists the calendar expectation of happiness. Merry
Christmas yourself! it mutters as it shapes a ghostly grin.
Thanksgiving comes after Christmas for people over thirty.
The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas
morning is their husband.
The problem isn't the grinches who steal Christmas, it's the grinches
who celebrate it.
The whole point of Christmas is that it is a debauch- as it was probably
long before the birth of Christ was arbitrarily fixed at that date.
Children know this very well. From their point of view Christmas is not
a day of temperate enjoyment, but of fierce pleasures which they are
quite willing to pay for with a certain amount of pain.