Anne Lamott (b. April 10, 1954) is an American novelist and non-fiction writer. (Click here for full Wikipedia article)
'No' is a complete sentence.
A good marriage is where both people feel like they're getting the better end of the deal.
Expectations are resentments under construction.
Forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past.
I spent my whole life helping my mother carry around her psychic trunks like a bitter bellhop. So a great load was lifted when she died, and my life was much easier.
I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.
I was raised by my parents to believe that you had a moral obligation to try and help save the world.
I wish I had thrown out the bathroom scale at age 16. Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth.
I'm here to be me, which is taking a great deal longer than I had hoped.
If the present is really all we have, then the present lasts forever.
It's better to be kind than to be right.
It's so awful, attacking your child. It's the worse thing I know, to shout loudly at this 50 lb. being with his huge trusting brown eyes. It's like bitch-slapping E.T.
Joy is the best makeup.
Lighthouses don't go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.
Mothering has been the richest experience of my life, but I am still opposed to Mother's Day. It perpetuates the dangerous idea that all parents are somehow superior to non-parents.
My mind is a neighborhood I try not to go into alone.
Never compare your insides to everyone else's outsides.
No one is more sentimentalized in America than mothers on Mother's Day, but no one is more often blamed for the culture's bad people and behavior.
One hundred years from now? All new people.
Perfection is shallow, unreal, and fatally uninteresting.
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people.
Some people won't go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter.
The difference between you and God is that God doesn't think He's you.
The reason I never give up hope is because everything is so basically hopeless.
The road to enlightenment is long and difficult, and you should try not to forget snacks and magazines.
You can either practice being right or practice being kind.
You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.
(April 10 is also the birthday of Evelyn Waugh.)