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re: Christmas

Published Monday, December 14, 2015 @ 3:43 AM EST
Dec 14 2015

A good conscience is a continual Christmas.
-Benjamin Franklin

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
-Garrison Keillor

America is a place where Jewish merchants sell Zen love beads to agnostics for Christmas.
-John Burton Brimer

Anybody who talks about California hedonism has never spent a Christmas in Sacramento.
-Joan Didion

As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is.
-Eric Sevareid

Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves.
-Eric Sevareid

Christmas is a strange season. We sing songs in front of dead trees and eat candy out of our socks.
-John Wagner (From the comic strip Maxine)

Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay for it.
-Richard Lamm

Christmas is a time when you get homesick, even when you're home.
-Carol Nelson

Christmas is not a date. It is a state of mind.
-Mary Ellen Chase

Christmas is over and Business is Business.
-Franklin P. Adams

Christmas isn't a season. It's a feeling.
-Edna Ferber

Christmas to a child is the first terrible proof that to travel hopefully is better than to arrive.
-Stephen Fry

Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state.
-Samantha Bee

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
-Katherine Whitehorn

I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Joseph and Mary did- Traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there.
-Tina Fey

I was a Christmas present that was delivered unwrapped.
-Rod Serling

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
-Variously attributed

In my experience, clever food is not appreciated at Christmas. It makes the little ones cry and the old ones nervous.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Merry Christmas! the man threatened.
-William Gaddis

Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody!
-Ogden Nash

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
-Larry Wilde

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit.
-Frank McKinney (Kin) Hubbard

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
-Variously attributed

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly.
-Andy Rooney

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go sometime in December.
Louis C.K.

Roses are reddish
Violets are bluish
If it weren't for Christmas
We'd all be Jewish.
-Benny Hill

Something in me resists the calendar expectation of happiness. Merry Christmas yourself! it mutters as it shapes a ghostly grin.
-J.B. Priestley

Thanksgiving comes after Christmas for people over thirty.
-Peter Kreeft

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
-Joan Rivers

The problem isn't the grinches who steal Christmas, it's the grinches who celebrate it.
-Christopher Hitchens

The whole point of Christmas is that it is a debauch- as it was probably long before the birth of Christ was arbitrarily fixed at that date. Children know this very well. From their point of view Christmas is not a day of temperate enjoyment, but of fierce pleasures which they are quite willing to pay for with a certain amount of pain.
-George Orwell


(December 14 is the birthday of Margaret Chase Smith Patty Duke.)

Categories: Christmas, Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic

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