A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth, without an
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to
A good father lives so he is a credit to his children.
-Arnold H. Glasow
A realist is a man who insists on making the same mistakes his
All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and
fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their
real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the
By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually
has a son who thinks he's wrong.
-Laurence J. Peter
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was
why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Diogenes struck the father when the son swore, because he taught him
Every father says the same thing: 'Where's your mother?'
Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with
Father's Day is like Mother's Day, except the gift is cheaper.
- Gerald F. Lieberman
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
Fathers have a unique and irreplaceable role in the lives of
-George W. Bush
For years I thought my father was a hunchback. Turns out he didn't
know suspenders were adjustable.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a
joke about a father-in-law?
I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at
odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by
little scraps of wisdom.
I come from a different generation from my Dad.
-George W. Bush
I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what
my father taught by example in one week.
I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad
used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end
up in jail.'
I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always
keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If
I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told
me not to go around looking for trouble.
If a child looks like his father, that's heredity. If he looks like a
neighbor, that's environment.
It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he
It is almost nicer being a godfather than a father, like having white
mice but making your nanny feed them for you.
-Theodore H. White
It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.
-Jean de la Fontaine
Men are all right for friends, but as soon as you marry them they turn
into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones.
My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
- Spike Milligan
My father was frightened of his father, I was frightened of my father,
and I am damned well going to see to it that my children are
frightened of me.
-King George V
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling
is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a
lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after
her side of the family.
No man is responsible for his father. That is entirely his mother's
Noble fathers have noble children.
Nobody talks more of free enterprise and competition and of the best
man winning than the man who inherited his father's store or
-C. Wright Mills
One father is enough to govern one hundred sons, but not a hundred
sons one father.
Rich men's sons are seldom rich men's fathers.
The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to
be a credit to them.
The moral code which was good enough for our fathers is not good
enough for our children.
-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a
The wisest man may be a blind father.
The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an
Wise children always choose a mother who was a shocking flirt in her
maiden days, and so had several offers before she accepted their
You know when you're young, you think your dad's Superman. Then you
grow up and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a
(June 20 is also the birthday of Lillian Hellman.)