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Quotes of the day: Fathers
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Published Friday, June 19, 2015 @ 7:13 PM EDT
Jun 19 2015

A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth, without an anesthetic.
-Paul Harvey

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
-Unattributed

A good father lives so he is a credit to his children.
-Arnold H. Glasow

A realist is a man who insists on making the same mistakes his grandfather did.
-Benjamin Disraeli

All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye.
-Martin Atwood

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.
-Laurence J. Peter

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
-Jack Handey

Diogenes struck the father when the son swore, because he taught him no better.
-Robert Burton

Every father says the same thing: 'Where's your mother?'
-Bill Cosby

Every generation revolts against its fathers and makes friends with its grandfathers.
-Lewis Mumford

Father's Day is like Mother's Day, except the gift is cheaper.
- Gerald F. Lieberman

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
-Jon Stewart

Fathers are biological necessities, but social accidents.
-Margaret Mead

Fathers have a unique and irreplaceable role in the lives of children.
-George W. Bush

For years I thought my father was a hunchback. Turns out he didn't know suspenders were adjustable.
-Bill Kelly

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
-Dick Clark

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.
-Umberto Eco

I come from a different generation from my Dad.
-George W. Bush

I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week.
-Mario Cuomo

I tell the truth, and it has gotten me into a lot of trouble. My dad used to say to me, 'If you tell the truth all day long, you will end up in jail.'
-Elaine Stritch

I've always followed my father's advice: he told me, first to always keep my word and, second, to never insult anybody unintentionally. If I insult you, you can be goddamn sure I intend to. And, third, he told me not to go around looking for trouble.
-John Wayne

If a child looks like his father, that's heredity. If he looks like a neighbor, that's environment.
-Unattributed

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.
-Anne Sexton

It is almost nicer being a godfather than a father, like having white mice but making your nanny feed them for you.
-Theodore H. White

It is impossible to please all the world and one's father.
-Jean de la Fontaine

Men are all right for friends, but as soon as you marry them they turn into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones.
-Willa Cather

My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
- Spike Milligan

My father was frightened of his father, I was frightened of my father, and I am damned well going to see to it that my children are frightened of me.
-King George V

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.
-Jeff Foxworthy

No man is responsible for his father. That is entirely his mother's affair.
-Margaret Turnbull

Noble fathers have noble children.
-Euripides

Nobody talks more of free enterprise and competition and of the best man winning than the man who inherited his father's store or farm.
-C. Wright Mills

One father is enough to govern one hundred sons, but not a hundred sons one father.
-George Herbert

Rich men's sons are seldom rich men's fathers.
-Herbert Kaufmann

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.
-Bertrand Russell

The moral code which was good enough for our fathers is not good enough for our children.
-Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.
-E.B. White

The wisest man may be a blind father.
-Jules Verne

The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father.
-Austin O'Malley

Wise children always choose a mother who was a shocking flirt in her maiden days, and so had several offers before she accepted their fortunate papa.
-J.M. Barrie

You know when you're young, you think your dad's Superman. Then you grow up and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.
-Dave Atell

(June 20 is also the birthday of Lillian Hellman.)


Categories: Fathers, Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic


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