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Quotes of the day: Baseball
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Published Wednesday, May 27, 2015 @ 2:11 PM EDT
May 27 2015

Baseball is like church. Many attend. Few understand.
-Leo Durocher

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror.
-George Carlin

Baseball is very big with my people. It figures. It's the only time we can get to shake a bat at a white man without starting a riot.
-Dick Gregory

Baseball is what we were, and football is what we have become.
-Mary McGrory

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
-Jim Bouton

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are crated equal.
-George F. Will

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in.
-Casey Stengel

Cricket is baseball on Valium.
-Robin Williams

Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of ten and you're a Hall of Famer.
-Denis Leary

I am convinced that God wanted me to be a baseball player. I was born to play baseball.
-Roberto Clemente

I think there are only three things America will be known for 2,000 years from now when they study this civilization: the Constitution, jazz music, and baseball.
-Gerald Early

I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.
-Pete Rose

If baseball were any slower, it'd be farming.
-Roger Rittenhouse

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
-Phyllis Diller

In the final analysis, opera is a poor substitute for baseball.
-Unattributed

Let there be joy in baseball again, like in the days when Babe Ruth chased an enemy sportswriter down the streets of Boston and ended up getting drunk with him on the waterfront and came back the next day munching on hotdogs and boomed home runs to the glory of God.
-Jack Kerouac

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets.
-Yogi Berra

Monday, n. In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.
-Ambrose Bierce

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
-George Jean Nathan

Saying that men talk about baseball in order to avoid talking about their feelings is the same as saying that women talk about their feelings in order to avoid talking about baseball.
-Deborah Tannen

Studio executives are intelligent, brutally overworked men and women who share one thing in common with baseball managers: They wake up every morning of the world with the knowledge that sooner or later they're going to get fired.
-William Goldman

The difference between politics and baseball is that in baseball, when you get caught stealing, you're out.
-Ron Dentinger

The French don't have a baseball team. And if they did, there'd only be a left field, and no one would be safe.
-Robin Williams

The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia's Connie Mack Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper deck. When he got up and walked away, the crowd booed.
-Bob Uecker

The Maker of the universe with stars a hundred thousand light-years apart was interested, furious, and very personal about it if a small boy played baseball on Sunday afternoon.
-Sinclair Lewis

Things could be worse. Suppose your errors were counted and published every day, like those of a baseball player.
-Unattributed

Three strikes, you're out. I don't care if you hire Edward Bennett Williams to defend you; three strikes, you're still out. Baseball is an island of stability in an unstable world.
-Bill Veeck

Watching baseball under the lights is like observing dogs indoors, at a pedigree show. In both instances, the environment is too controlled to suit the species.
-Melvin Maddocks

You see, you spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball, and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time. (In the book "Ball Four")
-Jim Bouton

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(May 28 is also the birthday of Ian Fleming. )


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