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Quotes of the day: Mothers
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Published Saturday, May 09, 2015 @ 12:30 PM EDT
May 09 2015

A boy's best friend is his mother.
-Robert Bloch

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
-Unattributed

A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of conqueror, that confidence of success that often induces real success.
-Sigmund Freud

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault.
-Walter Bagehot

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
-Dorothy Canfield Fisher

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.
-Washington Irving

A mother who is not everything for her children: a friend, a teacher, a confidant, a source of joy and founded pride, inducement and soothing, reconciliator, judge and forgiver, that mother obviously chose the wrong job.
-Joseph Goebbels

A mother, who is really a mother, is never free.
-Honoré de Balzac

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.
-Peter De Vries

Almost everyone who has gone to the bad early in life has had a deceitful mother.
-Henrik Ibsen

An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.
-Unattributed

Anything that makes your mother cry is fun.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Behind every man who achieves success,
Stands a mother, a wife and the IRS.
-Ethel Jacobson

Being a king, emperor, or president is mighty small potatoes compared to being a mother.
-Billy Sunday

Being a mother is a noble status, right? So why does it change when you put 'unwed' or 'welfare' in front of it?
-Florynce Kennedy

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Consult a real expert: call your mother.
-Unattributed

Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
-Robert A. Heinlein

Democracy means that people can say what they want to. All the people. It means that they can vote as they wish. All the people. It means that they can worship God in any way they feel right, and that includes Christians and Jews and voodoo doctors as well. It means that everybody should have a job, if he's willing to work, and an education, and the right to bring up his children without fear of the future. And it means that the old shall be provided for, without shame to themselves or to their families. It means do unto others as you would have others do unto you. It also means the prayers of the pilgrim fathers in the wilderness, and the Declaration of Independence, and the Constitution of the United States, and the Bill of Rights, and the Emancipation Proclamation, and the dreams of an immigrant mother for her children. And that's what I believe in.
-Dalton Trumbo

Doing your taxes is a great way to be reminded that you are unsuccessful, unmarried and childless without having to talk to your mother.
-Bryan Donaldson

Don't get me wrong. Being a mom is no picnic. Raising the kids is the mother's responsibility. It's a thankless, solitary job, like sheriff or Pope.
-Stephen Colbert

Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.
-H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Don't worry about what your mother thinks of your language.
-Elmore Leonard

Every father says the same thing: 'Where's your mother?'
-Bill Cosby

Every mother is like Moses. She does not enter the promised land. She prepares a world she will not see.
-Pope Paul VI

Every time I find a girl who can cook like my mother, she looks like my father.
-Tony Randall

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.
-W. Somerset Maugham

I don't always enjoy being a mother. At those times my husband and I hop up somewhere in the wine country, eat, drink, make mad love and pretend we were born sterile and raised poodles.
-Dorothy DeBolt

I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined, or hard to check, as a socially ambitious mother.
-Will Rogers

I have always admired the Esquimaux. One fine day a delicious meal is cooked for dear old mother, and then she goes walking away over the ice, and doesn't come back.
-Agatha Christie

I have always detested any departure from reality, an attitude which I relate to my mother's poor mental health.
-Jean Piaget

I would have gone home to my mother, but I'm not that crazy about my mother.
-Cher

If you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies?
-Charles Pierce

It is only when parental feelings are ineffective or too ambivalent or when the mother's emotions are temporarily engaged elsewhere that children feel lost.
-Anna Freud

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.
-Robert Orben

Mary was an unwed teenage mother.
-Unattributed

Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.
-Gloria Steinem

Mother is a verb, not a noun.
-Shonda Rhimes

Mother told me a couple of years ago, 'Sweetheart, settle down and marry a rich man.' I said, 'Mom, I am a rich man.'
-Cher

Mothering has been the richest experience of my life, but I am still opposed to Mother's Day. It perpetuates the dangerous idea that all parents are somehow superior to non-parents.
-Anne Lamott

My grandmother gave me five dollars and said, 'Don't tell your mother.' I told her, 'It's going to cost you more than that.'
-Steven Wright

My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six.
-Alan Alda

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.
-Jack Nicholson

My mother said, 'You won't amount to anything because you procrastinate.' I said, 'Just wait.'
-Judy Tenuta

My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have to potential to be the comic stories the next.
-Nora Ephron

My mother was an ex-nun, and my father was a Franciscan brother, so I grew up believing in Jesus the way anyone would believe in Mom's first husband.
-John Fugelsang

My mother's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
-Buddy Hackett

My mother's obsession with the good scissors always scared me a bit. It implied that somewhere in the house there lurked: the evil scissors.
-Tony Martin

Never trust a journalist unless she's your mother.
-Nassim Nicholas Taleb

No man is responsible for his father. That is entirely his mother's affair.
-Margaret Turnbull

No one is more sentimentalized in America than mothers on Mother's Day, but no one is more often blamed for the culture's bad people and behavior.
-Anne Lamott

No woman can call herself free who does not own and control her body. No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.
-Margaret Sanger

One of the great logical puzzles is how a woman is always like her mother but never like her sister.
-Robert Brault

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
-Dan Quayle

Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother.
-P.J. O'Rourke

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.
-Honoré de Balzac

The key to living a moral life is this: Do nothing in private that you would be ashamed to discuss openly with your mother.
-J.P. Morgan

The love of a mother is never exhausted; it never changes, it never tires. A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands: but a mother's love endures through all; in good repute, in bad repute, in the face of the world's condemnation, a mother still loves on, and still hopes that her child may turn from his evil ways, and repent; still she remembers the infant smiles that once filled her bosom with rapture, the merry laugh, the joyful shout of his childhood, the opening promise of his youth; and she can never be brought to think him all unworthy.
-Washington Irving

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
-Theodore Hesburgh

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
-Calvin Trillin

The mother- poor invaded soul- finds even the bathroom door no bar to hammering little hands.
-Charlotte Perkins Gilman

There are only two things a child will share willingly- communicable diseases and his mother's age.
-Dr. Benjamin Spock

There is no slave out of heaven like a loving woman; and, of all loving women, there is no such slave as a mother.
-Henry Ward Beecher

There is nothing in the world of art like the songs mother used to sing.
-Billy Sunday

There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
-Roseanne Barr

There's no way to repay a mother's love, or lack of it.
-Mignon McLaughlin

Well, knowledge is a fine thing, and mother Eve thought so; but she smarted so severely for hers, that most of her daughters have been afraid of it since.
-Abigail Adams

What are we at the park for except to win? I'd trip my mother. I'd help her up, brush her off, tell her I'm sorry. But mother don't make it to third.
-Leo Durocher

Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not.
-James Joyce

When you have a good mother and no father, God kind of sits in. It's not enough, but it helps.
-Dick Gregory

Wise children always choose a mother who was a shocking flirt in her maiden days, and so had several offers before she accepted their fortunate papa.
-J.M. Barrie

Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is your greatest gift to me.
-Alice Walker

You never get over being a child, long as you have a mother to go to.
-Sarah Orne Jewett

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.
-Jay Leno

Your accent should betray neither your mother's birthplace nor your father's income.
-Unattributed

Your mother knows how to push your buttons because she installed them.
-Unattributed


Categories: Mothers, Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic


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