A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed.
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition,
and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
A man who never graduated from school might steal from a freight car.
But a man who attends college and graduates as a lawyer might steal the
A man's college and university degrees mean nothing to me until I see
what he is able to do with them.
A student can win twelve letters at a university without learning how to
-Robert M. Hutchins
A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library. The
library is the university.
A university should be a place of light, of liberty, and of learning.
A University without students is like an ointment without a fly.
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the
state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and
conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in
combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
Alas, higher education is not necessarily a guarantee of higher virtue,
or higher political wisdom.
American college students are like American colleges; each has
As the only class distinction available in a democracy, the college
degree has created a caste society as rigid as ancient India's.
College ain't so much where you been as how you talk when you get back.
College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going
to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange
town and get drunk every night?
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
College: two hundred people reading the same book. An obvious mistake.
Two hundred people can read two hundred books.
Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people
die in colleges.
Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.
Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing
college students should never be released into the world until they have
been properly sedated.
Every man should have a college education in order to show him how
little the thing is really worth. The intellectual kings of the earth
have seldom been college-bred.
Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My
opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
Higher education in America flourished chiefly as a qualification for
entrance into a moneymaking profession, and not as a thing in itself.
I can't imagine a genuinely intelligent boy getting much out of college,
even out of a good college, save it be a cynical habit of mind.
I can't understand these chaps who go round American universities
explaining how they write poems: It's like going round explaining how
you sleep with your wife.
I learned more about economics from one South Dakota dust storm than I
did in all my years at college.
-Hubert H. Humphrey
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400
people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of
-William F. Buckley, Jr.
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time
he finishes college.
If cigarette packs are required to have pictures of diseased lungs,
college brochures should be required to have pictures of graduates
working at Starbucks.
If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next
a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that,
if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor
and get some text books.
If one cannot state a matter clearly enough so that even an intelligent
twelve-year-old can understand it, one should remain within the
cloistered walls of the university and laboratory until one gets a
better grasp of one's subject matter.
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to
Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was
qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to
other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't
higher education, this was Amway with a football team!
In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to
offering remedial English in college.
No man should escape our universities without knowing how little he
-J. Robert Oppenheimer
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring
a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of
-Dr. A. Lawrence Lowell
Our universities are so determined to impose tolerance that they'll
expel you for saying what you think and never notice the irony.
Semi-colons only prove that the author has been to college.
Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study
the works of Charles Darwin.
Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and
higher education positively fortifies it.
The art of handling university students is to make oneself appear, and
this almost ostentatiously, to be treating them as adults...
The boy of lively mind isn't hurt by college. If he encounters mainly
jackasses, he learns the useful lesson that this is a jackass world.
The chief value of going to college is that it's the only way to learn
it really doesn't matter.
-George Edwin Howes
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his
-Robert M. Hutchins
Universities hire professors the way some men choose wives- they want
the ones the others will admire.
When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I
did at work. I told her I worked at the college- that my job was to
teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, 'You
mean they forget?'
You graduated college ten years ago, so how come there are no damn books
in your house? Why are you living on the intellectual equivalent of
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?
(January 25 is also the birthday of W.
Somerset Maugham and Virginia
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