Evan Esar was a writer and compiler of books of humor. (Click here for full New York Times obituary.)
A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.
A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.
A signature always reveals a man's character- and sometimes even his name.
A vacation is like love: anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy, and Jill a wealthy widow.
Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.
If you think there is safety in numbers, try playing roulette.
Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.
Never trust a woman who tells you her real age; she's liable to tell you the truth about anything.
No matter how much you nurse a grudge it won't get better.
One ounce of example is worth a pound of advice.
Romance begins with a prince kissing an angel, and ends with a bald headed man yawning at a fat woman.
Shakespeare murdered Hamlet, and a great many Hamlets have murdered Shakespeare.
The best time to relax is when you don't have time to relax.
The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.
The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.
The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.
The trouble with the family is that children grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood.
We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.
Writing things down is the best secret of a good memory.
You can never get rid of a bad temper by losing it.