Arthur "Art" Buchwald (October 20, 1925 - January 17, 2007) was an
American humorist best known for his long-running column in The
Washington Post, which in turn was carried as a syndicated column in
many other newspapers. His column focused on political satire and
commentary. He received the Pulitzer Prize for Outstanding Commentary in
1982 and in 1986 was elected to the American Academy and Institute of
Arts and Letters. (Click
here for full Wikipedia article)
A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an
American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.
Americans are a broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a
person can be alcoholic, a dope fiend or a wife-beater, but if a man
doesn't drive a car, everybody thinks that something is wrong with him.
Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5
million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner
is the evening.
Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.
Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program
comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was.
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to
make the team.
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I
doing here in the first place?
I worship the very quicksand he (Nixon) walks on.
If you can make people laugh, you can get all the love you want.
If you have to go, the way you go is a big deal.
If you're hung up on nostalgia, just think of today as yesterday and go
out and have one hell of a time.
In this country, when you attack the Establishment, they don't put you
in jail or a mental institution. They do something worse. They make you
a member of the Establishment.
It's easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.
Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came
back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father
and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and
mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned
herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?
Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the
past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
The best things in life aren't things.
This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far
funnier than we are.
Whether it's the best of times, or the worst of times, it's the only
time we've got.
You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All
you're doing is recording it.
Art Buchwald's video obituary for the New York Times. "Hi!
I'm Art Buchwald, and I just died!"
Quotes of the day
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