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More about mom
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Published Friday, May 10, 2013 @ 9:57 PM EDT
May 10 2013

In the previous post, we searched the database for "mother" but we forgot about deal old Mom:

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been."
-Unattributed

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Four words every mom dreads hearing: "You're under arrest, Mom."
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)

I thought of becoming born again, but mom refused.
-Unattributed

I wonder if a plastic surgeon's mom ever yells at him to stop making faces.
-Olivia Ramsey

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
-Paula Poundstone

Never let Mom comb your hair when she's been arguing with Dad.
-Unattributed

Never play cards with a man named Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom's. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own.
-Nelson Algren

Nobody loves me but my mama, and she could be jivin' too.
-B.B. King

Yo mama is so fat, when she sings, it's over.
-Unattributed

Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting.
-Unattributed

Whoever said "Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting" obviously never licked one.
-John Alejandro King (The Covert Comic)


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Quotes of the day: Mort Sahl »