Calvin Trillin (b. December 5, 1935):
Americans drive across the country as if someone's chasing them.
As far as I'm concerned, “whom” is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
Health food makes me sick.
I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.
I never did very well in math- I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come “Lincolnesque” just means tall?
In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.
(Daily Show: Trillin demonstrates how bizarre, concocted satire can become reality.)
Marriage is part of a sort of 50s revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.
Not as bad as you might have expected.
(his suggested state motto for New Jersey)
The price of purity is purists.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.