Recent late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.
(YouTube video: The Republican debate in 45 seconds.)
The Republican presidential candidates will have a debate at the Reagan
Library. They were going to have it at the George W. Bush Library but
they couldn't fit all eight of them in the bouncy house.
People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has
executed over 200 people. And that was just while he was on vacation in
The oil industry said if they were allowed to drill more, they could
create over a million new jobs. Of course most of those jobs would be
cleaning oil off ducks.
To give an idea of how bad the economy is, the NFL had to borrow the
quarter for the coin toss from China. And they want it back.
In Iowa Sarah Palin ran a half marathon and came in second place. Of
course no one saw her do it, because she refused to tell anyone she was
Dick Cheney says Hillary Clinton would have made a better president than
Barack Obama. Then he got back in his coffin.
The Republican debate was on earlier tonight. Side effects may include
nausea, vomiting and sexual dysfunction.
Michele Bachmann is dropping rapidly in the polls. If she loses three
more points she goes on 'Dancing with the Stars.'
Homeland Security is saying you may no longer have to remove your shoes
when you fly. Welcome to the golden age of travel. I just hope they
don’t stop wanding my inner thighs.
During the Republican debate, every time they mentioned Ronald Reagan, I
ate a jelly bean. And now I have type two diabetes.
This is the first debate Rick Perry has participated in since he
announced his candidacy. Perry is a mix between George W. Bush and
Yosemite W. Sam.
Sarah Palin ran an unannounced half marathon in Iowa. Wait, did she run
a half marathon or run half a marathon and quit? Is there anything Sarah
Palin can’t do half of?
The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time
arguing over who God called first.
Michele Bachmann said that if she is elected president, she would
consider eliminating the Department of Education because "the states
could do a gooder job."
Ford is building a new plant that will create 5,000 jobs in India. Or as
Obama put it, "You've got to be kidding me!"
Sunday is the 10th anniversary of 9/11, which means it can only be
another five years before we discover Saddam Hussein’s WMDs.