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Happy birthday, Mr. Sniglet

Published Friday, June 10, 2011 @ 7:15 AM EDT
Jun 10 2011

The official term is neologism, but most people my age call them "Sniglets," from a segment of the old 1980s HBO show Not Necessarily The News created by comedian Rich Hall who, coincidentally, turns 57 today. Some examples:

  • Adam 69: Two police cars, parked next to each other, facing opposite directions, in such a way that the drivers side doors are only inches from each other, allowing the officers to chat with each other while waiting for a traffic violation to happen.
  • Alcolean: The point just before a drunk person starts to stumble.
  • Ancinemation: The curious act of waiting in line to see a movie and watching exiting movie goers' reactions to see if they liked the movie or not.
  • Anniversorry: The act of buying presents especially diamonds to make up for a forgotten aniversary.
  • Baldage: The accumulation of hair in a drain after bathing or showering.
  • Bevemeter: The distance a coaster will stick to the bottom of a wet glass before falling to the table.
  • Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people which repels intelligent ideas or accurate information.
  • Cheedle: The yellow residue from Cheetos that stains your fingers.
  • Cheeriomagnetism: The force which causes Cheerios to clump together in small groups.
  • Cinemuck: The sticky substance on the floor of a movie theater.
  • Destinesia: The simultaneous acts of arriving at a place while forgetting why you went there.
  • Doork: A person who tries to enter through a door clearly marked 'Exit'.
  • Downpause: The split second interruption of rain as you drive your car under a bridge.
  • Ellaceleration: The futile attempt to make an elevator arrive more quickly by repeatedly pushing the call button.
  • Expresshole: The ***hole in the express lane at the store who has way more items in his cart than the limit for the lane.
  • Foreploy: Misrepresentations told for the purpose of getting laid.
  • Icealanche: The avalanche of ice that occurs when a glass or cup is tipped up to drink the last of the liquid.
  • Idiolocation: The spot on the map marked "You are here."
  • Idiot Box: The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
  • Lactomangulation: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
  • Magnacarta: The lonely car in lot that always attracts shopping carts
  • Nerkle: Someone who leaves their Christmas lights/decorations up all year.
  • Pre-autoistic McConsumption: The tendency to start eating your french fries in the car on your way home.
  • Roverflow: Pieces of spilled/uneaten dog food surrounding the feeding dish.
  • Sark: The marks left on one's ankle after wearing tube socks all day.
  • Televator: The rolling line on a TV when the Horizontal hold isn't adjusted.
  • Toastaphobia: The fear of sticking a fork in a toaster even when it's unplugged.

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