Excerpts from Saturday Night Live's Seth Meyers killer routine at the White House correspondents dinner:
Just look at the options the Republicans are kicking around: Palin, Huckabee, Gingrich, Trump... that doesn't sound like a field of candidates, it sounds like season 13 of Dancing With The Stars. And not the stars, the dancers.
Both Rand Paul and Ron Paul have been talking about a run in 2012, so they have something in common with my father and I, which is we're also not going to get elected President.
Tim Pawlenty makes Al Gore look like RuPaul.
Donald Trump has been saying he will run for President as a Republican, which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke.
Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump's head.
Gary Busey said recently that Donald Trump would make a great President. Of course he said the same thing about an old, rusty bird cage he found.
Donald Trump owns the Miss USA Pageant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a Vice President.
Donald Trump said recently he has a great relationship with "the blacks", though unless the Blacks are a family of white people, I bet he's mistaken.
President Obama showed his "birth video," the opening sequence from Disney's The Lion King, where the lion cub Simba is anointed and held aloft by Rafiki the mandrill. "Oh well," Obama said, "Back to square one." The President then added, "I wanted to make clear to the Fox News table, that was a joke. That was not my real birth video. That was a children's cartoon. Call Disney if you don't believe me. They have the original 'long form' version."
Underscoring the inherent lunacy of Trump's candidacy, Obama referred to the former's decision to fire Gary Busey from Celebrity Apprentice. "These are the types of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir."
What makes his performance even more remarkable is the knowledge that as the dinner was being held, the noose was tightening at last on Osama bin Laden. Watch his reaction in the Seth Meyers video to the joke about the terrorist hosting a daily show on CSPAN.
The full videos follow. They're worth the time.