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Political Jokes of the Week
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Published Saturday, March 26, 2011 @ 12:05 AM EDT
Mar 26 2011

Recent late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.

Tea Party candidate Michele Bachmann said the Revolutionary War started in New Hampshire when it really started in Massachusetts. Interesting that a woman who believes so strongly in states rights can't get her states right.
-Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton visited Egypt today for the first time since the uprising. When asked why she went, Bill Clinton said, "Believe me, if anyone can stop an uprising, it's Hillary."
-Jimmy Fallon

We're at war? Again? Don't we already have two? Wars aren't like kids, where you don't have to worry about the youngest one because the other two will take care of it.
-Jon Stewart

It's one humiliation after another for Moammar Gadhafi. First his own people started rising up against him, then his compound was bombed, and now he's getting beaten up by the French.
-Jay Leno

The Pentagon says that U.S. operations in Libya are limited and have a definite end date. I don't believe that. We still have troops in Germany.
-Jay Leno

Did you see the footage of French planes bombing Libya? The planes look brand new, like they've never been used before.
-Jay Leno

Germany has pulled its forces out of NATO over Libya. When the Germans don't want to fight and the French do, the whole world is upside down.
-Jay Leno

We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.
-Jay Leno

According to reports, Gadhafi is surrounded by an elite corps of female bodyguards, all of whom are virgins. In a related story, today Charlie Sheen invaded Libya.
-Conan O'Brien

The name of the U.S. operation in Libya is 'Odyssey Dawn.' It's the first military action to be named by Crabtree & Evelyn.
-Conan O'Brien

When the Obamas were in Chile their President said, 'I think the First Lady of the United States is very good-looking.' So now we're at war with Chile. Operation Lavender Mist.
-Conan O'Brien

On a trip to Israel, Sarah Palin asked the Israelis why they're apologizing all the time. They responded saying, 'Because we told everyone Tina Fey was coming.'
-Conan O'Brien

The NAACP is taking a greater interest in attracting leaders from the gay community. This explains their new name, the 'National Association for the Advancement of Color-Coordinated People.'
-Conan O'Brien

Gadhafi said his people 'love him.' I think that's what he said. It was hard to hear over the rebel gunfire.
-David Letterman

Donald Trump says he will run for president. He'll have to find a cabinet position for that thing on his head.
-David Letterman

Trump says that if he's elected, he won't let the presidency interfere with the Miss Universe pageant.
-David Letterman

How would Trump travel as president? Obviously, he'd use Hair Force One.
-David Letterman

Charlie Sheen is still a big story because, honestly, none of us know where Libya is.
-Jimmy Kimmel

President Obama has to cut his trip to Latin America short because of the situation in Libya- and to check on his NCAA brackets.
-Jimmy Kimmel

No one can agree on how to spell Gadhafi's name. He's like the Hanukkah of dictators.
-Jimmy Kimmel

President Obama is cutting his trip to Latin America short by a few hours because of the situation in Libya. So to everyone who said Obama didn't care about Libya, you're wrong. He cares three hours' worth.
-Jimmy Fallon

A man in Texas used his obituary to ask for donations to anyone running against Obama in 2012. And then his ghost was offered a nightly show on Fox News.
-Jimmy Fallon

Hillary Clinton said that Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi is engaged in 'theater.' Which explains the new strategy to defeat him: casting him as the lead in 'Spider-Man: the Musical.'
-Jimmy Fallon


Categories: Jon Stewart, Political Jokes of the Week


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