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Political jokes of the week
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Published Friday, November 12, 2010 @ 8:47 AM EST
Nov 12 2010

Visit Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog for his weekly round-up of late night political humor.

President Bush is everywhere talking about his book and he's being very candid. In one interview, he said that he used to do stupid things while he was drunk. But think about it, who among us hasn't had a couple of drinks and invaded Iraq?
-David Letterman

President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep traveling until he finds his birth certificate.
-David Letterman

Twenty-thousand Indonesians protested President Obama's visit to Indonesia. Apparently, three out of four Indonesians believe he's an American.
-Conan O'Brien

President Obama was in Indonesia today, and he spent a lot of his childhood there. It was like Dick Cheney going back to visit the Death Star.
-Craig Ferguson

One of Obama's childhood friends said he was chubby and ran like a duck. I think that proves he's not Kenyan. That's as American as it gets.
-Jimmy Kimmel

Bristol Palin has made it to the semi-finals of 'Dancing with the Stars.' I'm not saying she's going to win, but if there's one thing she's known for it's going all the way." —Jimmy Fallon

What if Bristol Palin wins 'Dancing with the Stars?' How afraid can America be of her mother? She can't dance. She's not a star. The only part of the show that applies to her is the 'with the.' I wouldn't have believed that a dancing competition could make me question whether I really live in a democracy or not.
-Jimmy Kimmel

I read Bush's memoir, and I have to say, the book is way better than the Presidency.
-Jimmy Fallon

In his new book, George W. Bush says he's happy to be out of Washington. Well, it's unanimous.
-David Letterman

George W. Bush says he is glad to be out of the Oval Office because he doesn't have to think all the time. And I'm thinking wait a minute, that was him thinking all the time? Really?
-David Letterman

In the book Bush says that he lost respect for John McCain when he selected Sarah Palin as his running mate. This from a guy whose running mate shot a buddy in the face.
-David Letterman

President Bush is back. And people really seem to love that new red beard. But he's getting criticism. John Boehner, new Speaker of the House, says Bush doesn't care about orange people.
-David Letterman

The Pentagon says it doesn't know who is responsible for launching a missile off the California coast on Monday. Meanwhile, Sasha and Malia can't believe the awesome new video game they just found in the White House.
-Jimmy Fallon

JetBlue is appointing retired Gen. Stanley McChrystal to its board of directors. That's who I want looking for my missing luggage- the guy who's been trying to find bin Laden for ten years.
-Jimmy Fallon

A company in China is selling a President Obama blow-up sex doll. Don't get too excited. It turns out most of its positions are very unpopular.
-Jimmy Fallon

Republicans fresh off their victory on Election Day say their first priority will be to dismantle the new health care law. And believe me, there's nothing people without a job love more than less health care.
-Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton says she will not run again for President. Your move, Brett Favre. ... When Hillary says she's not running, is she really not running? Or just pulling a Leno?
-David Letterman

President Bush told Matt Lauer the most embarrassing thing he ever did drunk was ask a friend of his parents what sex was like after 50. That's nothing. John McCain asked Sarah Palin to be his running mate when he was sober.
-Jay Leno


Categories: Craig Ferguson, Political Jokes of the Week, Quotes of the day


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Bad government! No! Down!
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Published Friday, November 12, 2010 @ 7:37 AM EST
Nov 12 2010

Socialist, big-government Obamacare-like demands placed on patriotic Missouri puppy mill owners...


Categories: Daily Show, Dogs, Video


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