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Quotes of the day
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Published Wednesday, November 10, 2010 @ 3:51 PM EST
Nov 10 2010

"In his new book George W. Bush reveals that he considered dropping Dick Cheney in 2002 to show he was in charge, not Cheney. But then Cheney nixed the idea."
-Jimmy Fallon

"Former President George W. Bush has written his memoir. It's called Decision Points. I've already decided not to read it. … He'll be everywhere promoting the book. He's on the 'Today Show.' Going to be on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and tomorrow he'll be on the Rachael Ray Show, water boarding the veal cutlets."
-David Letterman

"No sir, I'm not going to read it until he reads it."
-David Letterman

"In his new book, George W. Bush says he's happy to be out of Washington. Well, it's unanimous."
-David Letterman

"In an interview with Matt Lauer, President Bush revealed the most embarrassing thing he ever did when he was drunk. He asked a friend of his parents at a dinner party what sex was like after 50. Which is not so bad when you consider John McCain's most embarrassing moment. He picked Sarah Palin sober."
-Jay Leno

"Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir. By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of stuff that happened to me.'"
-Craig Ferguson

"Bush's memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those pages are just games and puzzles."
-Craig Ferguson

"In the middle of the book is an Iraq maze which is pretty much impossible to get out of."
-Craig Ferguson

"Well George W. Bush is on the big book tour this week. During an interview with USA Today, Bush said that he was, 'blindsided by the financial crisis.' Bush said he was also blindsided by the fact that he knew the word blindsided."
-Jimmy Fallon


Categories: Craig Ferguson, Quotes of the day


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