Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


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"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
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miscellany

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Friday, December 11, 2009

Daybreak in Chicago

 

It's pretty, but it's only 8°F out there.

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Deliberately dumb?

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gretchen Carlson Dumbs Down
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political HumorHealth Care Crisis

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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Brrrr....

 

It's four blocks to the office. Time to bundle up.

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Wednesday, December 09, 2009

Yep, it's December in Chicago...

 

It should be a balmy 7°F on the walk to the office tomorrow, with a steady 20 mph wind with gusts as high as 50. Now I remember why I like working from home near Pittsburgh...

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Monday, December 07, 2009

Returning to the mothership

 

It's been over two years since I've been back to the home office in Chicago, and it's a definite reality shift.

I'm staying at Presidential Towers, which was my Chicago base from 2000-2003. Back then, I had a bare studio apartment. This time, I have a one-bedroom with a living room, two televisions, and a much better view.

While I play well with others and have been more or less appropriately socialized, I have the advantage of having been an only child. Some have a difficult time being alone. For me, it's like flipping a switch. Converting to solo mode is pretty effortless.

But with advancing age comes considerable bleed-through. There are times when I'm in the middle of a family gathering when I wish I could disappear into the woodwork, and there are others when I'm alone that I long for the chaos of a house full of family and pets.

It would be fun to somehow combine the two experiences. I would love to see the expression on the faces of Tower dwellers waiting for the elevator when the doors open and a mass of seven whirling Shelties spills outward, like a tasmanian devil with 28 legs.

Or to open the door at home and find a line of taxis waiting to whisk us to literally hundreds of potential restaurants or entertainment venues.

The dual role of dazzling urbanite and laid-back rustic isn't one I want to relive. Thank heavens Cindy arrives Thursday, and we'll be back home amid the fur and fury next weekend.

But that is some view.

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Sunday, December 06, 2009

Boy, I sure hope not...

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It figures...

I'm heading to Chicago today, where it's going to turn colder and start snowing shortly after my arrival and apparently continue for the rest of the week. Typically, Chicago weather is just Pittsburgh weather a day early, but it appears the really cold temperatures are going to stay in the midwest this week.

I'm looking forward to returning to the mothership and seeing all my Datalogics co-workers. They are, by far, the sharpest bunch of folks with whom I've ever worked, and I know the week will go by far too fast. Cindy is joining me later in the week for the company Christmas party and some sightseeing before we return next Sunday evening. If you're going to visit Chicago, the best times to go are July and December. Christmas in Chicago is just as exciting as Christmas in New York, and the traffic's marginally better.

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Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

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Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


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