Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


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dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite


Our riveting and morally compelling...

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Friday, November 27, 2009

Quote of the day

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them, either.
-Gore Vidal

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Thursday, November 26, 2009

Quote of the day

If figures of speech based on sport and fornication were suddenly banned, American corporate communication would be reduced to pure mathematics.
-Jay McInerny

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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Quote of the day

"I want you to get mad about the current state of affairs. I want you to get so mad that you use your new degree and your common sense to kick America off dead center. A little righteous anger really brings out the best in the American personality.

Our nation was born when 56 patriots got mad enough to sign the Declaration of Independence. We put a man on the moon because Sputnik made us mad at being number two in space. Getting mad in a constructive way is good for the soul- and the country.
-Lee J. Iacocca (Commencement Address)

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Are we there yet?

 

We're heading east for Thanksgiving dinner with Cindy's family, but first we have to drop off all seven shelties at South Hills Pet Resort. Fortunately, the pups love the place. Deja, our oldest female and canine queen of the household, is not shy about expressing her displeasure if she's somewhere other than where she wants to be. When we arrive at the kennel, Her Majesty makes a beeline up the steps and right into the office. Believe me, that's a ringing endorsement.

And yes, even with small dogs and a big vehicle, it's like riding in a furry clown car. The beauty with the big smile in the middle of the photo is Misty, a former agility star. (Misty's full name is "Michelle's Cinnamon Mist." Michelle is Cindy's youngest, now at Penn State.) Sasha's behind her, and on the right is Lucy, whose function is to bark at changes in barometric pressure, light levels, passing clouds, and similar significant events, a job she does with unfailing enthusiasm. And frequency.

Have a good holiday, all!

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Wow.

 

There's nothing better than a rock version of a Broadway standard with a full orchestra.

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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The dangers of working at home

 

Oddly enough, this has never happened to me.

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Monday, November 23, 2009

Why the attic is a scary place, #21

It contains high school yearbooks.

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

20 years

1989 (age 44) and 2009 (age 64)

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Copyright © 1987-2017 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

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Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


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