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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,847 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Friday, August 28, 2009
posted by KGB at 9:14 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Stupid is a pre-existing condition.
-Bill Maher

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posted by KGB at 2:49 AM (permalink)

"I have a dream"

 

I posted the above a few weeks ago, but today is the 46th anniversary of Dr. King's "I Have A Dream" speech, given on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial during the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, a defining moment of the American civil rights movement.

The full video, considered by many to be the best political speech of the 20th century, is here.

A transcript of the speech is perhaps somewhat underwhelming. It is, after all, a traditional Baptist sermon, relying heavily on anaphoric phrasing and allusion. Yet it contains perhaps the most perfectly constructed sentence in all English oratory: "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

The speech's rhythmic perfection can be easily observed in the "song" version of the speech. From 1:47 to the final chorus, note that while King's voice has been AutoTuned, his delivery is totally unedited. In fact, the final phrase before the chorus, "Thank God almighty, I'm free at last" is King's original delivery.

I was nine when I watched the speech with my grandmother on an old black and white television in our living room. I have no recollection of the delivery of the speech itself, but I vividly remember my grandmother crying as King left the stage.

It's been nearly half a century, and the curses of intolerance and racism continue. Yet the dream remains, and perhaps in another 50 years "this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.'"

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Thursday, August 27, 2009
posted by KGB at 1:57 AM (permalink)

Blast from the past

I wander around YouTube while waiting for stuff to compile and batch programs to complete, and stumbled onto this little gem.

Back in the late 70s and early 80s, André Previn led the Pittsburgh Symphony, and during his tenure the conductor and orchestra were featured in the PBS series Previn and the Pittsburgh.

At this point in his career, Previn- who had either adapted, conducted, or composed for dozens of films- had all but discontinued his work in motion pictures. "Hollywood composer," he said on an episode of the show "is one of the worst perjoratives in the music world."

Ironically enough, he made the comment while interviewing Miklos Rosza and John Williams on a episode dedicated to film music.

But I digress.

Later in the series, Williams returned to conduct the main title to Superman. My son Doug had probably just turned three at the time, and- because of his father's habit of playing an album until the vinyl was grooveless- he knew the main title and would "conduct" the stereo speakers.

When the segment in the video below appeared, he immediately took his position in front of the television and led the Pittsburgh Symphony perfectly, even nailing the final orchestra hit.

That was- what?- 30 years ago. And I remember it like it was yesterday. Even better than yesterday- I don't even recall what I had for breakfast.

Somewhere I have a photo of him wearing a huge set of headphones- and diapers- making like Arturo Toscanini. But that's a family spectacle best kept private.

Incidentally, if you want to hear scores that sound like the cast album, your best bet is to go to a symphony. Phantom of the Opera had nearly 100 pieces in some parts of the motion picture score. The pit band on Broadway? Maybe 15 instruments, a third being synthesizers.

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009
posted by KGB at 10:33 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

The Internet is like closing time at a blue-collar bar in Boston. Everyone's drunk and ugly and they're going to pass out in a few minutes.
-Leon Wieseltier

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posted by KGB at 1:05 AM (permalink)

New cable news host?

Nah. Sounds too much like Glenn Beck.

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Tuesday, August 25, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:32 AM (permalink)

Cash For Clunkers

You're doing it wrong.

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Monday, August 24, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:00 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

When C.S. Lewis characterizes the path to hell as "the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts," his description sounds suspiciously like a golf course.
-The Covert Comic

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...