Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
dcl dialogue online!
no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 32,130 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Photo of the day
Friday, July 24, 2009
|The Daily Show With Jon Stewart||Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c|
|The Born Identity|
Quote of the day
This weekend I bought one of those junior-size basketball hoop sets for my 5-year-old. It was called "Fast Break." It did.
The Covert Comic
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Video of the day
On July 23, 1962, Telstar relayed the first live trans-Atlantic television signal.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Quotes of the day
A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.
I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.
I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes.
Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
Our lives are like a candle in the wind.
Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.
Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.
The greatest cunning is to have none at all.
The history of the world and its peoples in three words: "born, troubled, died."
There are some people who can receive a truth by no other way than to have their understanding shocked and insulted.
There is an eagle in me that wants to soar and there is also a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
Yesterday is done. Tomorrow never comes. Today is here. If you don't know what to do, sit still and listen.
I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.
Six feet of earth make us all one size.
There are people who want to be everywhere at once, and they get nowhere.
Time is the storyteller you can't shut up.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Signs of the Apocalypse, #820
Here's what we do know...
1. It's 15 miles long.
2. It's not oil.
3. It's organic in nature, so it's alive (sort of).
4. It appears to be growing larger.
5. It's not affected by extremely cold temperatures.
6. AND, it's "eating" things that fall on it or that it envelopes as it slowly travels the Arctic Ocean.
I am officially terrified.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Quote of the day
Contact light. Okay, engine stop. ACA out of detent. Mode control both auto. Descent engine command override off. Engine arm off. 413 is in.
-Edwin E. (Buzz) Aldrin, Jr., first words spoken by a human on the surface of the Moon.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Why we're doomed, #1,421
The state of television news, 2009:
Putting it in perspective
Those under the age of 40 might not appreciate the influence the late Walter Cronkite had on our perception of the news.
The population of the US today is about 306 million. The NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams the top network news program, averages about 8 million viewers, which means it reaches about 2.6% of the population.
When man landed on the moon in 1969, the population was about 202 million. Forty-five percent of those watching the moon landing followed Cronkite's marathon 27-hour coverage of the event. His regular evening news had twice the ratings of today's, with a third less televisions tuned in.
Cronkite was part of a generation of journalists whose felt their responsibility was not only to inform but to educate. When he spent 14 minutes explaining
The only television "news" program I can tolerate these days is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, which nightly points out the excesses and failures of the modern broadcast media:
There's something fundamentally wrong when Jon Stewart is now the most trusted man in America.
Copyright © 1987-2015 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The firstname.lastname@example.org e-mail address is now something other than email@example.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used firstname.lastname@example.org as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that email@example.com was no longer firstname.lastname@example.org but rather email@example.com which is longer than firstname.lastname@example.org and more letters to type than email@example.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than firstname.lastname@example.org but actually just as functional as email@example.com? I sent e-mails from the firstname.lastname@example.org address to just about everybody I knew who had used email@example.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the firstname.lastname@example.org change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which email@example.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for firstname.lastname@example.org would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that email@example.com no longer is the firstname.lastname@example.org they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. email@example.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
get kgb krap!