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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,847 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Thursday, January 01, 2009
posted by KGB at 7:25 AM (permalink)

I do...

I'm getting married today and plan on being intensely occupied and distracted for the next few days. Chat among yourselves. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. See you next week.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
-(dialogue, When Harry Met Sally, screenplay by Nora Ephron)

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Tuesday, December 30, 2008
posted by KGB at 9:52 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears.

The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a clever woman to manage a fool.

What you do when you don't have to, determines what you will be when you can no longer help it.

Rudyard Kipling (December 30, 1865 - January 18, 1936)

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Monday, December 29, 2008
posted by KGB at 3:08 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day

Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

I have short-term memory loss, though I like to think of it as Presidential eligibility.

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, "Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."

The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.

The wages of sin are death, but after taxes are taken out, it's just a tired feeling.

We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers. They would call it On Anon Anon.

Paula Poundstone (b. December 29, 1959)

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Sunday, December 28, 2008
posted by KGB at 12:11 AM (permalink)

Things you discover while looking up other things....

The real name of Jay Silverheels, who played Tonto on The Lone Ranger television series, was Harold J. Smith.

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...