Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 


dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite


Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,659 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google
 
kgbreport.com Web


(July 2000 and earlier)


Saturday, October 04, 2008

Palin kid names...

I'm rather partial to "Spackle" and "Thud."

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Political quote of the day

I think he watched tapes of how Johnny Carson dealt with Charo.
-Gary Shandling (describing Joe Biden's preparations to debate Sarah Palin)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Quote of the day

You know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen.
-Jay Leno

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Friday, October 03, 2008

Quotes of the day

Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.

For certain people, after 50, litigation takes the place of sex.

Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Never have children, only grandchildren.

Some bastards have been great presidents.

Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

The brain that doesn't feed itself, eats itself.

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes.

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them, either.

-Gore Vidal (b. October 3, 1925)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Just an observation

When a debate moderator asks a question, and a participant arbitrarily ignores it and just rambles on with his or her talking points, the moderator should be permitted to press a buttom which would sound a loud air horn and drop a bucket of slime on the participant's head.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Thursday, October 02, 2008

Post turtle Palin

"Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."

"When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, it's a post turtle."

"You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

(via The Zoo)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Thanks for clearing that up


(via Eric Stark.)

The Sixties was a decade without quality control.-P.J. O'Rourke

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Quote of the day

Why is this soiled, crumpled, overdecorated piece of paper bearing a picture of a rather disreputable president worth fifty dollars, while this clean, soft, white, and cleverly folded piece of paper is worth so little that I just wiped my nose on it?
-P.J. O'Rourke

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Quote of the day

The truth is, we are all caught in a great economic system which is heartless.
-Woodrow Wilson

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Another brilliant analysis

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Happy Birthday, Richard

Richard St. John Harris (October 1, 1930 - October 25, 2002)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


McCain/Palin by 51.2%, three Electoral Votes

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Lemme tell ya...

I wrote a five dollar check. The check didn't bounce. The bank did.
-Jay Leno

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


The real pain...

... is going to hit next month, when the banks and credit card companies begin lowering credit limits.

I have a friend who relies on his credit card to tide him over until he gets paid by his customers. He pays the card balance in full every month, and has never been late.

Yesterday, his credit line was cut in half. The card issuer is "re-evaluating our lending practices given the current state of the economy." Which means he suddenly can't pay for the airline tickets, gasoline, and online services he needs to run his business on a daily basis.

Wait until the Christmas shopping season begins, and there's no credit available to consumers.

"A creditor is worse than a slave-owner; for the master owns only your person, but a creditor owns your dignity, and can command it."
-Victor Hugo

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


That's reassuring.....


Rob Lieber, New York Times

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Quote of the day

The Great Depression, like most other periods of severe unemployment, was produced by government mismanagement rather than by any inherent instability of the private economy.
-Milton Friedman

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


McCain's health

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Monday, September 29, 2008

Please don't call the economy a "catastrophe"...

Because "any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government functions" will give Bush dictatorial powers.

Nope, not kidding. Another one of those little goodies which the corporate-controlled media failed to tell you about.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


It's really not funny.

The biggest laugh during the Saturday Night Live parody of Sarah Palin's CBS News interview was, in fact, an almost verbatim quote of the actual response given by the governor to a question by Katie Couric.

"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
-Art Buchwald

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


When you have a spare hour...

... watch this video. It explains the economic implosion rather well.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Quotes of the Day

All varieties of interference with the market phenomena not only fail to achieve the ends aimed at by their authors and supporters, but bring about a state of affairs which- from the point of view of their authors' and advocates valuations- is less desirable than the previous state of affairs which they were designed to alter.
-Ludwig von Mises, (9/29/1881-10/10/1973)

Rather ironic that the Big Bailout occurs on von Mises' birthday.

A quote attributed to Milton Friedman is a bit more succinct:

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Sunday, September 28, 2008

Quote of the day

As the opinion polls move steadily in favour of President George W. Bush and the likelihood of a John Kerry presidency recedes, Democrats in the United States can take solace in two facts. If their man is not in the White House for the next four years, then they will not end up carrying the blame for the almost inevitable US defeat in Iraq- and they will not have to preside over the biggest financial crisis to hit the United States since the Great Depression.
-Gwynne Dyer (Wired Blogs, September 21, 2004)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Goodbye...

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Copyright © 1987-2017 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

commentwear


Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


get kgb krap!

KGB Shirt