Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


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dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite


Our riveting and morally compelling...

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(July 2000 and earlier)


Saturday, June 21, 2008

Quote of the day

Barack Obama said if he becomes president he will replace the White House bowling alley because it's something he would never use. Yeah, apparently, this is the same reason President Bush got rid of the White House library.
-Conan O'Brien

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Friday, June 20, 2008

Watch out, Steven

What happens when a five-year old who wants to be a Jedi...

gets a Flip video camera for her birthday...

How do you think Spielberg got started? (The camerawork's a bit shaky, but she does have the sound effects nailed...)

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Quote of the day

Work isn't to make money; you work to justify life.
-Marc Chagall

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Thursday, June 19, 2008

Mind-boggling quote of the day

Torture "is basically subject to perception," CIA counterterrorism lawyer Jonathan Fredman told a group of military and intelligence officials gathered at the U.S.-run detention camp in Cuba on Oct. 2, 2002, according to minutes of the meeting. "If the detainee dies, you're doing it wrong."
-The Washington Post

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Quote of the day

You just can't be good in bed any more. You have to be good at the keyboard too.
-Xaviera Hollander

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Peas in a pod...

This is another one of those days that sort of shakes my faith in astrology.

Those kindred souls born today include Blaise Pascal, Guy Lombardo, Lou Gehrig, Abe Fortas, Lester Flatt, Louis Jordan, Pauline Kael, Niels Bohr, Gena Rowlands, Salman Rushdie, Phylicia Rashad, Kathleen Turner and Paula Abdul, all born under the masculine, positive, mutable air sign of Gemini.

But the most important birthday today is,
of course, that of Harry Moses Horwitz:

Moe.
(June 19, 1897 - May 4, 1975)

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

You had to have had kids in Drama Club...

... to really appreciate this...


High School Tony Awards Honor Nation's Biggest Drama Club Nerds

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Quotes of the day

Roger Ebert, (b. 6/18/1942)

Doing research on the Web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly.

Eating responsibly at McDonald's is like going to a strip club for the iced tea.

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip.

Of what use is freedom of speech to those who fear to offend?

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Headline of the day

On the plus side, the experiments could also generate a black hole beneath France.

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I'm never complaining about deer again...

At least the dogs can scare off the deer. I'm not certain how they'd react to an elephant in the back yard

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Monday, June 16, 2008

No, I'm not bitter...

(From a South Park car wash, via my ever-vigilant daughter, Sara Kay Salopek)

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Sunday, June 15, 2008

Quotes of the day

Mario Cuomo, b. June 15, 1932:

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.

The vice presidency is a neglected positive. It is like the word "inept." Nobody ever says "ept."

You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose.

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Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

commentwear


Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


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