Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


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Saturday, June 14, 2008

Quote of the day

Some more high-profile support for Obama today. Music legend Bob Dylan, who is maybe the most respected person in all of music, he told the Times of London today that he supports Barack Obama. Or at least they think that's what he said, he may have been trying to book a flight to Omaha.
-Jimmy Kimmel

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Friday, June 13, 2008

I've been converted!

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"You told me backstage he was a goon..."

I think I understand now. Only comedians can interview comedians.

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Why we're doomed, #871

fail-owned-pwned-pictures
more funny fail pictures at FAIL Blog


see more politics and fun!

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Quotes of the day

Dorothy L. Sayers, June 13, 1893 - December 17, 1957

...[F]acts are like cows. If you look them in the face hard enough they generally run away.

The first thing a principle does is kill somebody.

There's nothing you can't prove if your outlook is sufficiently limited.

Time and trouble will tame an advanced young woman, but an advanced old woman is uncontrollable by any earthly force.

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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Quotes of the day

George Herbert Walker Bush, b. June 12, 1924

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm the President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.

I'll be glad to either reply to or dodge your questions, whichever I think will help our election most.

I'm conservative, but I'm not a nut about it.

There are some people who still think Elvis is alive.

We're enjoying sluggish times, and not enjoying them very much.

You have to have all the facts before you jump to conclusions.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I got yer lobes right here, pally...

Yeah... hopefully the frontal lobes of the venal, materialistic and condescending no-talent sexist who wrote this ad.

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Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Some of these just write themselves...

No mystery here how they manage to hit the high notes...

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Quote of the day

"Free market" to me is like "Christian Science," except switch out God and throw in money.
-Stephen Colbert

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Monday, June 09, 2008

Quote of the day

People are now talking about the ticket, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. And I think this would be the first, if you think about it, first combination of an African-American man and a white woman since, well, Michael Jackson.
-David Letterman

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Sunday, June 08, 2008

Robert Justman, 1926-2008

Geez, what a week.

Another major contributor to the Star Trek legacy, Robert H. Justman, 81, died May 28 from complications of Parkinson's disease.

Justman served in various producing roles since the 1950s on a number of landmark series, including The Adventures of Superman, Lassie, One Step Beyond, the original Outer Limits, and Mission: Impossible. He worked on both pilot episodes of the original Star Trek and was one of the series' key staffers, responsible for many of the daily decisions and operations on the set. Justman later was a producer of the pilot and a portion of the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and is credited with championing the character of Captain Jean-Luc Picard and actor Patrick Stewart over objections from Gene Roddenberry.

"Bob Justman is one of the most amazing production men in the business," Stephen Whitfield wrote in his 1968 book, The Making of Star Trek. "He can flip through a script and in fifteen minutes tell you how long it will take to shoot it, and almost to the penny how much it will cost. He has a complete grasp of every facet of production, right down to how many cups of coffee the man should make every morning on the stage."

He had a unique method of getting Gene Roddenberry to finish rewrites for the next day's shooting schedule:

"In desperation, [Justman] walked into Gene Roddenberry's office, climbed up on top of his desk, and stood there loudly declaring he would not move one inch until Gene finished the rewrite on the scene. And he stood there until Gene finished. He then accepted the new scene with thanks, jumped off the desk and walked out of the office. For quite a while after that it was common site to see Bob Justman standing on top of Gene Roddenberry's desk waiting for him to finish rewriting a scene so he could hurry down to the set and give it to the director."

Justman's sense of humor was legendary. In response to a rather pompous Roddenberry memo directing the staff to refer to props by their real names rather than calling them "Feinbergers" (after prop man Irving Feinberg), Justman told Roddenberry in a memo:

"Therefore, I feel that we should no longer use the term "Feinberg" as a substitute name for gadget... I, for one, intend to dispense with all the jokes at and levity I have undertaken this past season. I feel that in this way I can set an example for the rest of our fellow workers.
Very truly yours,
Robert H. Feinberg
Associate Producer"

Justman and Desilu production chief Herb Solow wrote a superb account of Trek's production history in their 1996 book, Inside Star Trek: The Real Story. Free of the hero- and Roddenberry-worship of other works, it's an objective and frequently funny retelling of the series' twisted history.

Even better, listen to Justman himself:

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Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
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Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

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Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


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eat wisely


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