Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 


dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite


Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  27,803 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google
 
kgbreport.com Web


(July 2000 and earlier)


Saturday, April 26, 2008

Gee, what could go wrong?

Toshiba Builds 100x Smaller Micro Nuclear Reactor

Toshiba has developed a new class of micro size Nuclear Reactors that is designed to power individual apartment buildings or city blocks. The new reactor, which is only 20 feet by 6 feet, could change everything for small remote communities, small businesses or even a group of neighbors who are fed up with the power companies and want more control over their energy needs.

The 200 kilowatt Toshiba designed reactor is engineered to be fail-safe and totally automatic and will not overheat. Unlike traditional nuclear reactors the new micro reactor uses no control rods to initiate the reaction. The new revolutionary technology uses reservoirs of liquid lithium-6, an isotope that is effective at absorbing neutrons. The Lithium-6 reservoirs are connected to a vertical tube that fits into the reactor core. The whole whole process is self sustaining and can last for up to 40 years, producing electricity for only 5 cents per kilowatt hour, about half the cost of grid energy.

Toshiba expects to install the first reactor in Japan in 2008 and to begin marketing the new system in Europe and America in 2009.

(I can't carry four ounces of shampoo on an airplane, but the government will let me have a 200KW functioning nuclear reactor in my basement filled with liquid lithium-6? Cool. I just have to remember to change the filters. The dryer vent can double as a cooling tower. Where are my lead-lined boxers? And why is the cat box glowing in the dark?)

Update: Or, thankfully, maybe it's just a hoax.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Friday, April 25, 2008

Cartoon of the day

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Quote of the day

The fact that curiosity killed the cat isn't an argument for not being curious, it's an argument for not being a cat.
The Covert Comic

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Thursday, April 24, 2008

Better get that order in now...

Octopart only has one flux capacitor left in stock...

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Drollery of the day...

Today's Birthdays: . . . Shirley MacLaine, 346; Shirley MacLaine, 294; Shirley MacLaine, 229; Shirley MacLaine, 158; Shirley MacLaine, 74.
(from Zay N. Smith's QT column in the Chicago Sun-Times.)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Puzzling spam of the day...

Sounds like something the Postal Carriers union should investigate...

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Tshirt of the day


(from ThinkGeek.com)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


A day late, but worth it...

"Happy Earth Day, honey."
Published in The New Yorker April 24, 2006
(via cartoonbank.com)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Vote quotes

Pennsylvania has Philadelphia at one end, Pittsburgh at the other, and Alabama in between.
-James Carville

Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
-George J. Nathan

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.
-John Quincy Adams

Never vote for the best candidate. Vote for the one who will do the least harm.
-Frank Dane

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-James Bovard

If the Gods Had Meant Us to Vote They Would Have Given Us Candidates
-Jim Hightower (book title)

As people do better, they start voting like Republicans... unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing.
-Karl Rove

Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half.
-Gore Vidal

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Perhaps I'm dyslexic...

... and clicked the wrong boxes, or there's something wrong with the test. The multiple intelligences one seems accurate, but that personality quiz... introverted? Moi?

Thanks, Leslie, for yet another distraction. By the way, glad the Chantix worked for you. It made me nauseous and produced bizarre dreams featuring Dick Cheney.

I'm addicted to placebos. I'd quit, but it wouldn't matter.-Steven Wright

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Monday, April 21, 2008

McCain's a Marxist

STEPHANOPOULOS: A lot of Senator Obama's allies and others say that you should condemn the comments of Reverend John Hagee, an evangelical pastor...

MCCAIN: Oh, I do. And I did. I said, any comments that he made about the Catholic church I strongly condemn, of course.

STEPHANOPOULOS: Yet you solicited and accepted his endorsement?

MCCAIN: Yes, indeed. I did. And I condemned the comments that he made concerning the Catholic church.

STEPHANOPOULOS: But you're going to hold onto his endorsement? Your own campaign acknowledged that you should have done a better job of vetting Pastor Hagee.

MCCAIN: Oh, sure.

STEPHANOPOULOS: So was it a mistake to solicit and accept his endorsement?

MCCAIN: Oh, probably, sure. But I admire and respect Dr. Hagee's leadership of the- of his church. I admire and appreciate his advocacy for the state of Israel, the independence of the state of Israel. I condemn remarks that are made that has anything to do which is condemning of the Catholic church, but- so...

(CROSSTALK)

STEPHANOPOULOS: ...no longer want his endorsement?

MCCAIN: I'm glad to have his endorsement. I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything. But thanks for asking.

(Or, in the words of the immortal Groucho Marx: "Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others.")

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Sunday, April 20, 2008

T-Shirt of the Day

It Was What It Was

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

commentwear


Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


get kgb krap!

KGB Shirt