Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


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Saturday, November 03, 2007

Quote of the day

All that is required for evil to triumph is... users.
-Unattributed systems manager

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Friday, November 02, 2007

Quote of the week

Last night during the Democratic presidential debate, Senator Barack Obama accused Hillary Clinton of frequently changing positions. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, "I wish."
-Conan O'Brien

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A sound reason not to like circuses...

The elephants can give you drug-resistant tuberculosis.

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Having a princess as a granddaughter? Yawn...

I  have a Jedi warrior. And when granddaughter Leanna visits, we have Star Wars marathons while surfing the web. Warning: the games on nick.com can be addictive.

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A firm grasp on reality...

This guy on Slashdot nails it. It's in response to a message posted by some yahoo who thinks he and our republican form of government are safe because he's still allowed to own a firearm. The biggest thieves don't use guns, Skippy, because there are far more effective weapons:

Have fun in your little made-up universe where the government comes to round you up and you manage to fight it off.

In the real world, fascism is when the corporations and governments work as a single entity, and you can wander around with your f****** gun all you want. In fact, you'll have to wander around, because the government/corporations took your house and your car, and no one will hire you.

At which point you'll be arrested, not as some big anti-government hero by jackboot thugs, but for stealing bread to live on, by a perfectly normal cop who's just doing his job, a job that absolutely no one except you disagrees with, so when you shoot and kill him you're getting the electric chair and no one thinks you're a hero at all.

There are different types of totalitarian governments, and assuming a fascist one operates like a communist one is faulty. Fascist governments don't put troops in the streets... they work with corporations to make sure 'the wrong sort of people' do not have any economic power, and do not have anywhere to peddle their ideas.

Modern fascist states don't even bother to kill those people, and pretending they're going to show up in some stormtrooper outfit and start a gun battle with you is insane. They'll show up with a court order to evict you from your home because you failed to pay your mortgage, because pressure came from the top at your company to let you go. Or they'll just sue you and ruin your finances.

America is not a bunch of tiny castles where, as long as you can hold off the invading armies, you will be fine. The idea that that is how the world works is astonishingly naive. Almost all the population of America lives in housing they do not fully own, they get food from places they do not control like the supermarket, they require operating in society for money to obtain said food and shelter, a society where economics are controlled by some very large players that can crush them like bugs.

And a fascist state isn't going to 'assume control', you asshat. There's not going to some insane coup, there's a going to be a slow change, which has, in fact, already happened, or have you not looked at the telecom immunity stuff? That's classic fascism. The government breaks the law, the government gets private companies to break the law, the government gives said companies huge amounts of cash, the government attempts to make such behavior legal retroactively. We've got government officials and AT&T officers leaping back and forth between each other in an incestuous loop. Your government spying on you, sponsored by AT&T. It's not 'totalitarian' yet, as evidenced by the fact Democrats managed to stop the immunity, but it is fascism, at least the start of it. (And the same thing's happened with Blackwater.)

Oh, and before you start ranting about gun control some more, be forewarned I'm against it. I'm just not stupid enough to think that the US government being slowly corrupted by business is something that can be fought off with gunpowder. Guns are useful to deter crime and to deter invasion. They aren't useful against a corrupt government in any meaningful way.

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Thursday, November 01, 2007

Please remain seated, and keep it in your pants.

SINGAPORE (Reuters) - Singapore Airlines, the first operator of the new Airbus A380, has dashed the hopes of sexual thrill-seekers planning to engage in amorous activity aboard the world's biggest jumbo jet.

The carrier said it would ask passengers on the A380 to refrain from sex while ensconced in one of its 12 first-class suites, which boast the world's first airborne double beds.

"All we ask of customers, wherever they are on our aircraft, is to observe standards that don't cause offence to other customers and crew," the company told Reuters in a statement.

"Nothing different applies for our Singapore Airlines Suites customers."

While private, the double cabins are neither sound proofed nor completely sealed.

Singapore Airlines, the world's second-largest airline by market value, started commercial flights of the double-decker A380 last week with a Singapore-Sydney service.

"So they'll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne and then say you can't do what comes naturally?" Tony Elwood, who traveled with wife Julie in a suite aboard the inaugural flight, told the Times of London.

"They seem to have done everything they can to make it romantic, short of bringing round oysters," Julie said. "I'd say they shouldn't really complain, should they?"

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Maybe my head's in the wrong place...


..but I really think it's the kid's.

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Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Rule Brittania

Cheeky, those Brits. And brilliant. Perhaps a suitable substitute for "Hail To The Chief" as well.

And don't forget September 12, 2001. American tourists stranded in London following the 9/11 attack who watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace were moved to tears:

And all that good will squandered by neocon imperialism...

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I find your lack of faith disturbing...


I'm not usually amused by animals in costume, but this is
obviously a non-Terran life form.
(From Oomsa.)

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Fake news and commentary of the day...

Fox News clip: An FBI memo sent out to local law enforcement said an Al Qaeda detainee had given them some information that the next wave of terrorism could be in the form of setting wildfires.

Jon Stewart: Or, perhaps Al Qaeda is plotting to infiltrate a cable news channel and staff it with morons.

(The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, 10/29/07)

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What happened to Clark Kent's hat...


(via Zaius Nation.)

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Monday, October 29, 2007

Medical progress

It used to be that the day after a flu shot I'd have a sore arm, a low grade fever and body aches.

No more.

Thanks to what I assume are improvements in medical technology, for the past two years those irritating symptoms didn't strike me the next day. Rather, they appeared five days later, a delay sufficient to prevent me from immediately associating the shot with the symptoms and probably making it more difficult for me to sue once my head blows up and my limbs atrophy and fall off.

If you should have a similar experience, do yourself a favor and don't Google "flu shot reactions."

I'm going pop some more ibuprofen, crawl back into bed, and quietly hallucinate for the rest of the day.

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Sunday, October 28, 2007
posted by KGB at 10:33 AM (permalink)

Google getting you down?

You entered a search term and were presented with page after page of useless, irrelevant garbage?

This won't help your search, but it may relieve your frustration.

(Note you can substitute other URLs, so have at it at any website you truly despise.)

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Copyright © 1987-2017 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

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Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


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If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


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