Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

Da Burg Annat

I Have Issues

Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

He knows if yinz is a jagoff

Please support KGB Report by making your purchases through our affiliate link:

dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL

no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!

KGB, CIA linked

The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week

Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


Hard to describe.

"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite

Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  34,696 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google Web

(July 2000 and earlier)

Friday, August 03, 2007

Humanity trumps ideology. Finally.

The U.S. Senate defied President Bush on Thursday and passed a bipartisan bill that would provide health insurance for millions of children in low-income families.

The vote was 68 to 31. The majority was more than enough to overcome the veto repeatedly threatened by Mr. Bush. The White House said the bill "goes too far in federalizing health care."

(The problem is the Children's Health Insurance Program is wildly successful, but only covers kids. Medicare is wildly successful, but covers primarily senior citizens. The neocons pulling Bush's strings feel it "goes too far" because they're worried that people will start asking why the approach won't work for everyone else, too. Of course, the real outrage here is the reprehensible policy of denying poor children health care primarily because it doesn't coincide with Bush's fascist ideology. All the opposition votes came from the GOP, but, to their credit, 18 Republicans and 2 independents joined the unanimous Democrats in passing the measure. It still has to be reconciled with the House's version of the Bill, but eventual passage seems certain.)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Homeland What?

The Pentagon sold more than a thousand aircraft parts that could be used on F-14 fighter jets- a plane flown only by Iran- after announcing it had halted sales of such surplus, government investigators say.

In a report Wednesday, the Government Accountability Office, the investigative arm of Congress, said the Defense Department had improved security in its surplus program to prevent improper sales of sensitive items.

But investigators found that roughly 1,400 parts that could be used on F-14 "Tomcat" fighter jets were sold to the public in February. That came after the Pentagon announced it had suspended sales of all parts that could be used on the Tomcat while it reviewed security concerns.

Iran, trying to keep its F-14s able to fly, is aggressively seeking components from the retired U.S. Tomcat fleet.

The Pentagon's surplus sales division- the Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service- told investigators the parts were sold because it failed to update an automated control list and remove the aircraft parts before they were listed on its Internet sales site.


Hope they also remembered to pull down the e-Bay listings.

This reminds me of the joke that the reason we knew Iraq had weapons of mass destruction was because we kept the receipts...

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Just do the math

The American Society of Civil Engineers estimates that it will cost $188 billion ($9.4 billion a year for 20 years) to eliminate all the structural deficiencies in U.S. bridges.

Or, less than 40 percent of what's been spent in the last four years on the war in Iraq. That figure's at $448 billion and is increasing at about $2 billion a week.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Thursday, August 02, 2007

Quote of the day

The fact that nothing's happening never stops a real reporter.
-P.J. O'Rourke

Aside from the varying body count, there's really nothing new to report about the Minnesota bridge collapse. That does not, of course, prevent the "news" channels from having wall-to-wall coverage.

About the only thing that can be said for certain is that the primary cause of the collapse is, well, gravity.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Overheard at the ballpark...

Teenage girl: Oooh! Look at that security guy! He's a hottie!

Mom: Yeah, and he has handcuffs, too!

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Wednesday, August 01, 2007


So a reader from Germany is waiting at Greater Pitt for his flight home, looks up in the area of Gate 80, and sees:

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Quote of the day

One of the principle differences between a woman and a volcano is that a volcano doesn't fake eruptions.
-Tim Dedopulos

(via the "Fantasy Contessa" on the alt.quotations Usenet newsgroup.)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Monday, July 30, 2007


Impressive. Particularly the eggs and the Christmas lights.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Sunday, July 29, 2007

The irony of Google Ads...


 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Copyright © 1987-2015 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The e-mail address is now something other than saga. used to be until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up and adopting created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the domain name in 1993, and had since that time used as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that was no longer but rather which is longer than and more letters to type than and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than but actually just as functional as I sent e-mails from the address to just about everybody I knew who had used in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that no longer is the they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...


Crystal Methodist

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

I am a professional. Do not try this at home.

I canna change the laws of physics

As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Left wing liberal nut job

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?

Nutrition makes me puke

Feral Geek

eat wisely

Dyslexics have more fnu!

It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable

get kgb krap!

KGB Shirt