Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
dcl dialogue online!
no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 45,194 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Quote of the day
I've realized my dream that noodles can go into space.
instant ramen noodle inventor, who died this week of heart failure at age 96, upon learning ramen noodles were on the menu of the space shuttle Discovery in 2005. Ando's company, Nissin, sold 46.3 billion servings last year.
Review excerpt of the day
From "Genetic Park," Dave Itzikoff's review of Michael Crichton's novel Next:
... surely history should reserve a special place for the day
in 2005 when Michael Crichton was invited to the White House
to meet with George W. Bush. Imagine: the modern era's leading
purveyor of alarmist fiction seated side by side with Michael
-NY Times Book Review, Jan. 7, 2007, p. 8
William C. Waterhouse
(from the alt.quotations Usenet newsgroup)
Friday, January 12, 2007
Quote of the day
The good news: Last night President Bush admitted he's made some mistakes in Iraq. The bad news: he's planning on making the same mistakes again.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Set your Tivo
8 p.m. "Independence Day"
An armada of ruthless aliens descend with plans to destroy civilization with a combination of high-powered laser beams, stupid subplots and bad performances by B-list actors. (1996) ABC Family.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I know it shouldn't make a difference...
...but knowing that Maya Angelou and Ayn Rand were born Marguerite Johnson and Alisa Rosenbaum kind of takes the bounce out of my step.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Don't assault snowmen in South Park...
(from the January Park News Police Blotter:)
A resident from Brownsville Road called the South Park Police Department to report an assault with a weapon. The SPPD discovered that the resident had placed an inflatable snowman in his front yard. The resident's uncle did not agree with the location and shot the snowman with a shotgun. The SPPD observed the deflated snowman with a shotgun hole in it and recovered a 20-gauge shotgun shell casing. The resident stated that he was within ten feet of the snowman when his uncle shot it. The SPPD located the uncle and arrested him for aggravated assault with a weapon, reckless endangerment, and firearm discharge violations.
(Unanswered questions: can you be arrested for assaulting a Christmas decoration? Did the police draw an outline of the deflated snowman on the yard? Did someone notify Bill O'Reilly about such an egregious act in the War on Christmas?)
Copyright © 1987-2017 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The firstname.lastname@example.org e-mail address is now something other than email@example.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used firstname.lastname@example.org as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that email@example.com was no longer firstname.lastname@example.org but rather email@example.com which is longer than firstname.lastname@example.org and more letters to type than email@example.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than firstname.lastname@example.org but actually just as functional as email@example.com? I sent e-mails from the firstname.lastname@example.org address to just about everybody I knew who had used email@example.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the firstname.lastname@example.org change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which email@example.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for firstname.lastname@example.org would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that email@example.com no longer is the firstname.lastname@example.org they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. email@example.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
get kgb krap!