Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


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Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


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Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

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Saturday, September 30, 2006

Dead writer's birthday Quotes of the Day

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.

Finishing a book is just like you took a child out in the yard and shot it.

It's a scientific fact that for every year you live in California, you lose two points off your I.Q. It's redundant to die in L.A.

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.

Life is difficult enough without Meryl Streep movies.

The better the actor the more stupid he is.

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.

-Truman Capote (9/30/24 - 8/25/84)

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Friday, September 29, 2006

Quote of the day

My mother's obsession with the good scissors always scared me a bit. It implied that somewhere in the house there lurked: the evil scissors.
-Tony Martin

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Thursday, September 28, 2006

Set your Tivo

8 p.m. "Smallville"
Clark gets trapped in the phantom zone, a shadowy realm where warped criminals exist in a state of unreality, kind of like Los Angeles but with cleaner air. CW.

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Don't bad-mouth the king...

(from Dave Farber's Interesting Persons list:)

Recently, I was told by a long-time family friend that there are public-address announcements in Houston Airport that anyone making jokes about any member of the Bush family within airport premises would be detained. She made a big deal of having to convince a Houston-dwelling friend of hers to go with her to the airport and hear them for herself when the friend expressed scepticism.

Of course, Houston Airport is also known as George Bush Intercontinental Airport. Still, I'd love to know whether anyone has ever actually been charged with Bush-mocking.

And whether Jon Stewart is banned from the airport for life.

Frank Wales

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Observation of the day

News Item: Defense attorney tells jury at racketeering trial that defendant John A. "Junior" Gotti has written a children's book.

Ask your bookseller about George Regrets Being Curious.

(Zay Smith's Quick Takes column in the Chicago Sun-Times.)

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Monday, September 25, 2006

Question of the day

Why does this guy still have a job?

The idea that it's going to be a long, long, long battle of some kind I think is belied by the fact of what happened in 1990... Five days or five weeks or five months, but it certainly isn't going to last any longer than that.
--Donald Rumsfeld, reported by CBS News, Nov. 15, 2002

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/11/15/world/main529569.shtml

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Sunday, September 24, 2006

Dead writer's birthday quotes of the day

A big man has no time really to do anything but just sit and be big.

All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.

An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.

At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look; at forty-five they are caves in which we hide.

Draw your chair up close to the edge of the precipice and I'll tell you a story.

Everyone's youth is a dream, a form of chemical madness.

Family quarrels are bitter things. They don't go according to any rules. They're not like aches or wounds; they're more like splits in the skin that won't heal because there's not enough material.

If you're strong enough, there are no precedents.

In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.

It is in the thirties we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.

One girl can be pretty- but a dozen are only a chorus.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.

Show me a hero, and I will write you a tragedy.

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise.

There are no second acts in American lives.

You don't write because you want to say something; you write because you've got something to say.

-F. Scott Fitzgerald

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Quote of the day

Like every transferable grievance, that of Islamism is often right in its judgment of the things that it hates. Who among us is entirely pleased with McWorld? Who among us does not wish that some kind of lid could be put on the licentiousness of modern societies? But that is not the point. Most of us recognise that there is an organic connection between freedom and its abuse, and that licentiousness is the price we pay for political liberty.

Muslims want that liberty as much as non-Muslims do: and to obtain it they migrate in their millions from the places where Islam is sovereign to the places where it is not- America being the longed-for final haven. And that is the source of the grievance. Radical Islam is cut off from the modern world: its revelation and its law are by their nature fixed and unadaptable, and the sight of people successfully living according to other codes and with other aspirations is both a cause of offence and an irresistible temptation.
-- Roger Scruton, "The great hole of history",
http://www.opendemocracy.net/faith-europe_islam/grievance_3889.jsp

(via the Sanity Inspector on the alt.quotations Usenet newsgroup.)

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Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

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Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


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