Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

Da Burg Annat

I Have Issues

Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

He knows if yinz is a jagoff

Please support KGB Report by making your purchases through our affiliate link:

dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL

no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!

KGB, CIA linked

The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week

Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


Hard to describe.

"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite

Our riveting and morally compelling...

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One of  34,136 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google Web

(July 2000 and earlier)

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Quote of the day

I enjoy dating married men because they don't want anything kinky, like breakfast.
-Joni Rodgers

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Friday, July 07, 2006

Quote of the day

"The guarding of military and diplomatic secrets at the expense of informed representative government provides no real security for our Republic."
-Justice Hugo Black, in ruling with the majority in favor of the New York Times' publication of the Pentagon Papers in 1971.

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Pittsburgh's Bill Cullen

Remember Bill Cullen? I recall watching the original The Price is Right in the late 50s, and being constantly reminded by my grandmother that Cullen was a Pittsburgh native.

Cullen died on this date in 1990. Here's a great tribute page to the urbane and witty host.

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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Hello, Dalai!

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, is 71 today.

A handy memory aid, for those of you who are easily confused:

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Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Quote of the day

In a state-run society the government promises you security. But it's a false promise predicated on the idea that the opposite of security is risk. Nothing could be further from the truth. The opposite of security is insecurity, and the only way to overcome insecurity is to take risks. The gentle government that promises to hold your hand as you cross the street refuses to let go on the other side.
-Theodore Forstman

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

TV listing of the day

10 p.m. An American Celebration at Ford's Theater

The country is divided over a war and the president sees a performance at Ford's theater. Don't get your hopes up. ABC.

(Marin Independent Journal)

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Quote of the day

"Nothing of importance today."
-diary entry of King George III, July 4, 1776

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Monday, July 03, 2006

Crack Found in Foam on Shuttle Fuel Tank (AP)

Oh, man. When the Shuttle starts concealing illegal substances, you know society is on its way down the tubes.

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Quotes of the day...

From that well-known left-wing liberal nutcase, Thomas Jefferson. You know, the guy who wrote that thing in Philadelphia that we're celebrating tomorrow...

Information is the currency of democracy.

It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.

The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive. It will often be exercised when wrong, but better so than not to be exercised at all.

Where the press is free and every man able to read, all is safe.

Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.

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Sunday, July 02, 2006

Quote of the day

King David and King Solomon,
Led merry, merry lives;
With many, many lady friends,
And many, many wives.

But when old age crept over them--
With many, many qualms;
King Solomon wrote the Proverbs,
And King David wrote the Psalms.
     -James Ball Naylor (1860-1945)
     Ancient Authors

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Copyright © 1987-2015 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The e-mail address is now something other than saga. used to be until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up and adopting created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the domain name in 1993, and had since that time used as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that was no longer but rather which is longer than and more letters to type than and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than but actually just as functional as I sent e-mails from the address to just about everybody I knew who had used in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that no longer is the they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...


Crystal Methodist

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

I am a professional. Do not try this at home.

I canna change the laws of physics

As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Left wing liberal nut job

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?

Nutrition makes me puke

Feral Geek

eat wisely

Dyslexics have more fnu!

It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable

get kgb krap!

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