Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 


dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite


Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  27,981 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google
 
kgbreport.com Web


(July 2000 and earlier)


Thursday, July 03, 2003

Thoughts on Independence Day

The dogs' bladders are near bursting, since they won't go outside with the neighborhood miscreants setting off fireworks. The refrigerator is like Fibber McGee's closet, jammed with consumables for the cookout tomorrow. And, of course, the American Way of Life is under assault, not from external enemies but by our elected- or Supreme Court appointed- officials. Librarians are being requested to act as agents of the FBI. In 2003, our government more closely resembles the Gestapo than the republic envisioned by Jefferson and Adams.

But it's July 4, and I'm not going to get into that. As Adlai Stevenson said, "In America, anyone can become President. That's one of the risks you take."

America is about taking risks- and making mistakes and doing the right thing... eventually. I'm old enough now to look back and realize the United States is capable of acts of both stunning inspiration and jaw-dropping stupidity, often simultaneously.

But the one thing about America and being an American is knowing that, like a huge pendulum, eventually things swing back from the extreme. Not without effort and debate and cost and lost lives. But sooner or later, things always do get better. And then we'll swing to the other extreme and repeat the process.

Norman Mailer once said the true religion of America has always been America. He's right. I believe in America. And there are enough believers to insure that despite its disturbing oscillations, we'll always find our way.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


So you want to be a journalist?

Give it a try. It's frighteningly realistic. (Another Farber goodie.)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Real Reality Programming

From Dave Farber's Interesting People list...

http://www.8goodpeople.com, a website that deals with the reality of being experienced, qualified- and unemployable.

There's something odd about a society which is willing to pay a million dollars to a bimbette to fake affection on television but turns its back on its productive citizens.

I'd wish they'd keep good folks like these employed, and outsource the television programming jobs overseas. But wait- many of these airhead reality series are actually reworked European ideas, anyway.

Sigh. We're doomed.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Bye, Buddy.

Buddy

My mother's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    

 


Copyright © 1987-2014 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

commentwear


Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


get kgb krap!

KGB Shirt