Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

Da Burg Annat

I Have Issues

Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL

no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!

KGB, CIA linked

The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week

Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


Hard to describe.

"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite

Our riveting and morally compelling...

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One of  34,738 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google Web

(July 2000 and earlier)

Saturday, May 24, 2003

Travel thoughts

I got in trouble with airport security when they found my pocket calculator. They said it was a weapon of math instruction.

Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty. I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, "Is someone sitting there?" just say, "no one--except the Lord."-Carol Leifer

In America there are two classes of travel -- first class, and with children. Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.-Robert Benchley

When one realizes that his life is worthless he either commits suicide or travels.-Edward Dahlberg

Consider your life dull if you happen to be in three airports in the same month.-Unattributed

Laundry is the curse of the long distance traveller.-David Dale

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed of lost airline luggage.-Mark Russell

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "as pretty as an airport" appear.-Douglas Adams

If life is a journey, then your 60s are the homeward leg when you're hung up in an airport and thinking bad thoughts about your travel agent.-Garrison Keillor

Ask for cheese. It's the only food the airlines can't ruin.-Judy Balint

A journey of a thousand miles gets routed through Atlanta or O'Hare.-Unattributed

If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel.-Will Kommen

There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do.-Unattributed

Air travel shrink-wraps the world leaving it small, odourless, tidy, and usually out of sight.-Michael Palin

Airline Meals: Anything that's white is sweet. Anything that's brown is meat. Anything that's gray don't eat.-Hermione Gingold

He who would travel happily must travel light.-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then, take half the clothes and twice the money.-Susan Butler Anderson

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Copyright © 1987-2015 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The e-mail address is now something other than saga. used to be until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up and adopting created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the domain name in 1993, and had since that time used as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that was no longer but rather which is longer than and more letters to type than and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than but actually just as functional as I sent e-mails from the address to just about everybody I knew who had used in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that no longer is the they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...


Crystal Methodist

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

I am a professional. Do not try this at home.

I canna change the laws of physics

As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Left wing liberal nut job

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?

Nutrition makes me puke

Feral Geek

eat wisely

Dyslexics have more fnu!

It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable

get kgb krap!

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